She looked at us, taking in Taema’s head lolling against my shoulder. I could tell what she was thinking: she’d already lost us. She knew that during our last Confession, when I fucked with her and freaked her out.

“You might as well let us go,” I said. “You can say we died in the forest.”

“But what if I let you go and you find a way to survive?”

“I guess that’s a risk you take. We’re not doing so hot right now, anyway.” I sucked in a breath. “Do you want us to die?”

“I want you to follow God’s plan. If you weren’t meant to die, your heart wouldn’t be failing.”

“Maybe God wants us to leave your godforsaken Hearth and go to the city.”

She leaned down, close to me. There was no one around.

Her ageless face gazed down at us. Would she raise her arm in benediction, or would the hand hold a knife?

“It didn’t have to be like this,” she said. “It all could have been different.”

“Well, this is how it is. So what are you going to do?” I glared up at her. “The power’s in your hands, I guess. You going to kill us here? Do nothing for a few minutes? That’s all it’ll take.” Already my vision was wobbling, going dim. My chest hurt, and my fingers were numb. I wanted her to go away and leave me to die in peace.

“You want to go out into the Impure world?” She sneered down at me. “Very well. I’ll let you go. You can never return. Never contact your parents or your friends. You’re cut off from here in every possible way. I know that the big, wide world out there will chew you up and spit you out, until you wish you could come crawling back. But you can’t. You’re apostate. You’re dead to the Hearth.”

“You done?” I asked wearily.

She glared at me for a long time before she finally moved away, her robe whispering against the forest floor. She turned her back on us and made her way through the forest to her Hearth. She’d made her point. We couldn’t hide things from her, even if we tried. Our choice was final.

I spat in the direction she had taken.

I looked up toward the spaceship. We heard the low whistle of an owl—Dad’s signal. Oh God. If Mana-ma knew about our escape, would she hurt my parents for helping us?

I tried to move, but Taema was so heavy, and I was so weak. We weren’t far. I could see the ship through the redwood trees. A little door came down, but as much as I tried to move toward it, I was too weak. Our heart beat so loudly it seemed to be the only sound in the world.