It’s always weird, when Tila or I meet someone the other has been sleeping with. It’s knowing that this other person, this stranger, has a pretty good idea what you look like naked, even if they haven’t slept with you. It’s the worry that they’ll look at one the same way they look at the other.

This is so much worse than any of those other times.

“I didn’t go with her,” Nazarin says, calmly. I look up, confused.

“I was tempted, but I went home alone. In the end, I knew that sleeping with her was a bad idea. My orders were clear: not to become involved with anyone in the Ratel. Yet she stuck in my mind.”

“Did she try to get you to do anything?” I ask carefully. I don’t want to tip him off that I have her notes. I’m not sure whether or not to believe him. Tila always gets what she wants, when she puts her mind to it. I can’t remember a time anyone rebuffed her advances. If people were to choose between us, they’d be almost certain to choose Tila.

“Yeah. Later, she asked me to introduce her to Malka.”

“The Queen.”

He inclines his head. “At that point, I hadn’t met her, or even seen her, so I couldn’t give her what she wanted. She didn’t bother with me again after that.”

That sounds like Tila. Slyly, I bring up my notes again. She never definitively said she slept with him. After that one entry, her focus shifted to other topics. She mentioned her frustration, and that she was having difficulties seeing Malka, but “Skel” wasn’t mentioned again. He could be telling the truth. I hope he is.

“When I saw the murder charge, saw her picture, and discovered she had a twin, I realized I could figure out what she was up to. At first it was curiosity. When I learned she was working in the Verve lounge as a lucid dreamer, I figured she’s in deep—deep enough that nobody could follow her.”

“Except me.”

“Yes. Except you.”

He’s run out of words. I sip the wine. No, I gulp it. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? Especially before you slept with me?” I ask once the glass is empty. I’m trying not to think of them together.

“Nothing happened. She’s not the only one in the Ratel who’s tried to sleep with me.” He shrugs. “I don’t know your sister. I can’t pretend I do. For what it’s worth, I don’t think she’d have killed without a reason.”

“She didn’t kill anyone.”

“As I’ve said, are you still so sure of that? Or are you saying it out of habit now?”

I glance down at the empty glass. “You still should have told me.”

“You’re right.”