“I know. I understood that—I understand that. I am not trying to punish you. But when all that stuff happened…I was scared.” Tears stung her eyes. She willed them to go away. She would not cry in her office. “And you weren’t there.”

“But Ethan was.” His eyes bore into hers as if he could divine the state of her heart by uttering her ex-fiancée’s name.

Kate swallowed. “Yes.” What had happened with Kenzie Sloane had given her more insight into Ethan’s own struggles as a police detective than anything that had happened before. He had cared for her. And he had been there when she needed someone the most.

“Is that why you stopped calling me?”

“No.” But it was hopeless. She could not look into Randall’s eyes and not tell the truth. “Yes.”

The muscles around his eyes twitched.

“But not for the reason you think. Ethan and I are not back together.” She had turned him down as gently as she could. “Just before I left for Italy, he sent me an email…”

An email. It was so impersonal, and yet, she knew why he chose to tell her that way. Too much had already been said.

She had wept when she read it.

But it was the tears of release. Of a love that had been built on a deception, and not grounded enough in who they each were. And where they were going.

When they finally understood the other, too much had changed.

Kate stared at the man standing before her. If she was honest—and God knows, she’d been trying to avoid that painful truth for months—he was one of the reasons why Ethan had not been able to convince her to give them one more chance.

“So if you aren’t back together with Ethan, then why are you leaving?”

Her fingers gripped the edge of Alaska’s photo. She remembered how Marian MacAdam had stared at the picture of her dog’s face. How Kate had wondered if her client had lied to her.

Her entire experience at McGrath Woods seemed based on lies.

But the biggest lie was the one she had told herself. “I have to.” She swallowed. “You know, I’ve been through a lot because of McGrath Woods. I could be carrying a fatal disease in my cells. I suffer from nightmares almost every night. And I bear the guilt of not helping Marian MacAdam. But, I’ve never blamed the firm—I have always blamed myself. And I even let the firm use what happened with the Body Butcher to help rebuild their image. I did it because I was ambitious.” Kate shook her head. “I feel used by the firm, Randall. But I also feel kind of dirty. Like I slept with someone to get ahead. And out of this whole crappy situation, I’m most disappointed in myself.”