The “left-behinds” began to bond together. Meetings were held to squash rumors, find out who needed help, and provide communication for those families living in unusual isolation. The wives got together for social functions, for a chance to just plain bitch to one another, and to take pride in not having to endure their terrible loneliness and pain on their own.

The shared sacrifice helped ease the panic and tears that came stealing into them when they were alone at night, wondering not only “when” but more importantly “if ever again” they would see their mates. Those in the desert had knowledge (though always sketchy and imperfect); they were busy; they were involved in a great and noble act; while the “left-behinds” worked to make their faithful, lonely lives seem normal at a time of almost unbearable abnormality. They did it because it was expected of them, because they had no other choice, and because of their courage and selflessness. They were real heroes of Desert Shield and Desert Storm.

★ On October 24, Chuck Horner at long last answered what had been Mary Jo’s constant question: “When are you coming home?”

I don’t know when we are coming home, I wrote her—with added comments—but for sure it will be after we fight Iraq. So the question is when are we going to fight? The answer is pick one of the following:

1. After the ’90 election. (Generals always try to sound politically aware.)

2. After the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait runs out of food and water. (We had plans to rescue the trapped staff, if their lives appeared to be in danger.)

3. After another 100,000 troops arrive. (More than 200,000 additional troops actually came.)

4. Before Ramadan begins. (The Islamic period of fasting and holy days, due to start in March.)

5. Before next summer. (I didn’t think we could survive the heat one more time.)

6. After next summer. (My attempt at humor.)

7. After Iraq attacks us.

8. Before Saddam starts killing the hostages.

9. Whenever President Bush and the other leaders say so.

10. Whenever the U.N. says to do it.

As it turned out, number ten, U.N. approval, occurred in late November, when the Security Council ordered a January 15, 1991, deadline for an Iraqi pullout from Kuwait, and number nine came with the President’s approval of the air campaign briefing. This decision grew stronger with the November decision to deploy the VIIth Corps from Germany and to double our naval and air forces, and was cast in stone with the congressional approval of military action in January of 1991.

My advice to Mary Jo was simple: “Just listen to President Bush. He is telling you the truth, and he is telling you what we are going to do.”

As for me, I had inside information. I knew that unless Saddam Hussein made an uncharacteristic change in his strategy, we were going to fight. In November, talk of rotation policy died, to be replaced by a growing sense of urgency, a clearer perception of what lay ahead, and an increasing awareness that, sometime after the first of the year, we were going to war.