And he would’ve been right. There was nothing he could do. No words can help me, no matter how well-meaning. It keeps playing in my head: Glacia tackling me, pinning me to the floor, and hissing, ‘Having fun now?’ That accusing glare, the same glare so many of my so-called friends gave me when Ladia visited that summer. And after she left, they kept glaring. In the store, or at Wallace Emerson’s ice cream plaza, or when I would take my sisters to the park. It’s as if they thought I was to blame. They’re the ones who chose to separate themselves, not me. I’m glad I chose to join the Embassy. I don’t need them.

‘Having fun now?’

As I stare at the ceiling. Glacia’s words circulate in my head, attach themselves to every thought. She’s never glared at me before. When I picture her, it’s always with a smile. She doesn’t get angry, yet I’ve managed to test her patience twice this week.

I think about the dance. People were flailing their arms, laughing, singing, glowing. Living. It looked stupid to me, but I can’t even remember the last time I had fun. My fun ranged from studying for the Placement Report, to flipping through Father’s old portfolios. Sure, I have fun playing with my sisters, but they’re three years old. It hardly counts.

The Molter. I was so high above Undil. My life was below me, yet I didn’t listen to Glacia when she wanted to race through the sky. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to freedom, and I made excuses not to experience it.

‘Don’t get stuck,’ Father once said. ‘Life is hardly worth living if you don’t take the opportunity to escape it.’ It’s true. My whole life I’ve been trapped, but now that I’m free, I’ve taken to hiding from the world.

I grit my teeth. A hollow sensation fills my chest. My eyes sting and I realize tears are welling up in them. I’m crying. Wow, I’ve really sunk low this time.

A knock on the door spooks me. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, wipe my eyes, then slide out of bed and answer the door.

It’s Glacia.

She doesn’t look angry. Nervous, actually. Maybe she’s giving me a break for it being so early in the morning. She’s dressed in her uniform even though the Induction Ceremony isn’t until tonight, and looks a bit disappointed that I’m still in my nightclothes. My hair must be a mess, too.

“Were you asleep?”

“Nope.”

She doesn’t seem to believe me.

“Seriously,” I say.