The line disconnects. I walk to the far end of Floor 20’s atrium, the side that faces east, and stand in front of the window. I stare outside without really seeing. Voices echo behind me, people shouting instructions to each other. The elevator door opens, and more footsteps join the commotion. I force out the sounds and just stare at what’s in front of me: my reflection. I hold eye contact with myself for as long as I can. It keeps my mind from wandering, from paying attention to what’s behind me. But that doesn’t stop me from staring at the reflection.

Soon the sounds are gone. No more footsteps, no more shouts, no more foreign words…words my brain can’t even comprehend. The Narvidians, the Belvish, the emergency personnel who lifted Captain Blitner’s body onto a floating gurney. Everyone is gone.

And I am alone.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Orcher reaches a hand out and grips my shoulder. A man walks past us, and Orcher waits until he is out of earshot before saying, “Are you all right?”

I don’t respond immediately. Here in the dark, it’s easier for me to breathe now that the day is coming to an end. I need this chance to keep my head clear.

“I want to be.”

“It was a long time coming, I think.” Orcher bobs his head and stares across the path, at the stream that’s trickling between two trees. “He wanted to meet you, though. I think that’s why he held out so long. He didn’t…” Orcher trails off, then says, “It was best.”

“Father never told me about him,” I say.

When Orcher speaks next, he keeps his voice low. “Because it’s the law, unfortunately. Ambassadorial Escorts are kept confidential…a kind of safety measure meant to prevent targeted attacks during personal visits.”

“Oh.”

We sit in silence again. The gurgles of the stream help to keep my thoughts in check, because whenever I pull too far out of my trance, I see him and think how I did nothing. I should have told Orcher—even Barimus—that Captain Blitner hadn’t taken his normal pills for three days. One of them could have saved him.

“You did nothing wrong, Arman,” Orcher says, as if he’s reading my thoughts.

My leg starts to shake like it did this morning. My breaths come short, every inhale sharp. I tilt my head back to loosen my neck. Breathe in…breathe out.

“Are you and Miss Haverns still going on your trip tomorrow?” Orcher asks to distract me. I nod in response. “Take as much time as you need. And don’t worry about working in the morning. Some of the Narvidians volunteered to take over for you while we get through this.”