She’s bringing that up? She doesn’t know Ladia. We were happy. Ladia loved me. I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to worry about when I’d next see Father, or how much sleep I’d get tonight, or whom I’d eat lunch with today. How could Glacia think I’m a jerk? What about all my friends, you know, the ones who’ve ignored me for the past four years? What about Secondary? How was I supposed to pass the Placement Report? None of my so-called friends went into Embassy Studies. They chose to work in Cornell, and that’s where they’ll die. They’ll never explore the galaxy or meet people on other planets. They chose to live empty lives, not me.

“I’m sorry you think you’re alone,” Glacia keeps saying, less stern than before. “I get it, okay? But you need to get over yourself. Have some fun. Dance. Smile. Laugh. Live a little. Stop being so miserable. This isn’t Secondary. People here want to be your friend. I want to be your friend.”

A surge of anxiety twists a knot in my chest, ruining what remained of the fluttery sensation I felt while I was watching the city. I just want this day to end so I can be one day closer to leaving Undil.

One day closer to seeing Ladia.

“She’ll want you to be happy,” Glacia says. “Don’t make her your only way out. Don’t shut the rest of us away. Please.”

For a moment, I hear her voice shake, but ignore it and just shrug again. It’s the only way to release the tension threatening to pull apart my body. I need to get away and think. Even though an opaque barrier separates us from the dance, I’m starting to feel the pressure of the crowd. I want out of this hall. Out of the noise.

I need to be alone.

In the window’s reflection, I watch Glacia take a careful step toward me, one of her feet tugging at her silky, blue dress. The way she’s been lecturing me, I forgot she was wearing it. Now she seems to be waiting for a response, but I’m not going to give her that satisfaction.

“If nothing else, smile,” Glacia says at last. “That’s a good way to start.”

Chapter Six

I stare at the ceiling. The light strains my eyes, so I cross my arms over my face. I wish I could fall asleep, wake up next Thursday, and fly to Belvun. Ellin and Michael aren’t bad, but John and Glacia? Not a chance. Why should I get lectured about how to live my life?

Right, because Glacia knows all my problems.