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Back Don't Look for Me Save as PDF
Chapters (62)
  1. Cover
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-one
  25. Chapter Twenty-two
  26. Chapter Twenty-three
  27. Chapter Twenty-four
  28. Chapter Twenty-five
  29. Chapter Twenty-six
  30. Chapter Twenty-seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-one
  35. Chapter Thirty-two
  36. Chapter Thirty-three
  37. Chapter Thirty-four
  38. Chapter Thirty-five
  39. Chapter Thirty-six
  40. Chapter Thirty-seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-one
  45. Chapter Forty-two
  46. Chapter Forty-three
  47. Chapter Forty-four
  48. Chapter Forty-five
  49. Chapter Forty-six
  50. Chapter Forty-seven
  51. Chapter Forty-eight
  52. Chapter Forty-nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-one
  55. Chapter Fifty-two
  56. Chapter Fifty-three
  57. Chapter Fifty-four
  58. Chapter Fifty-five
  59. Chapter Fifty-six
  60. Chapter Fifty-seven
  61. Acknowledgments [TK]
  62. Also by Wendy Walker

Nic parked. Turned off the ignition. Chief Watkins’s truck was right behind them.

“Are you coming in with me?” her mother asked.

“I can’t, Mom. I can’t look at that girl.”

Her mother nodded.

“I don’t get it,” Nic said. She couldn’t hold back. “Why don’t you hate her? After what she did to you in that house, and how she’s lying now to help her mother?”

There was a long pause, and then, suddenly, a relenting that washed over her mother’s entire body. Her eyes were looking out at the diner, and the little girl whose face was now pressed up against the large glass window.

“She’s just a child, Nicole.”

Nic leaned over and rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.

“You don’t know, do you?” Nic asked her.

Her mother kissed Nic’s forehead. “What don’t I know?”

“What a great mother you are.”

Chapter Fifty-seven

Seven months later

I kiss my daughter on the forehead. I smile and watch her leave me. She walks across the street to a bar—not for a drink, but to meet a man. A nice man for a change. And I don’t just hope there will be more nice men. I know there will be.

I leave the car and walk into the diner. Chief Watkins walks right behind me.

I have never been here before. My only memory is driving past it that night. The night of the storm.

Inside, they are waiting for us. Roger Booth. The social worker who’s been looking in on the family.

And Alice.

Oh, how I have dreamed of this day. How I have dreaded this day. I have had nightmares about Alice, her hands petting my skin. Her fake tears. Her faces. And I have longed for her. For the child in her.

She has no ambivalence for me. I see that now, as she jumps down from the bench of the booth and runs into my arms. I hold her tight. I kiss her forehead, the way I kissed Nicole moments before.

I don’t know what I feel. I don’t think I will know for a long time.

I walk to the booth. Everyone stands to greet me warmly. Roger is grateful because I found his daughter and saved her life. Chief Watkins is grateful because I didn’t leave him to die like a dog in the street. I could have taken his car and driven us away from there. But I stayed, and now they say that he lived because I stopped the bleeding.

I stopped the bleeding. That is something, I suppose.

Somehow I do not feel worthy of their gratitude.