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Chapters (52)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. About the Book
  4. About the Author
  5. Also By
  6. Contents
  7. Dedication
  8. Roll Call
  9. A Brief History of the Time Wars
  10. Jane
  11. Luke
  12. Matthew
  13. 1
  14. 2
  15. 3
  16. 4
  17. 5
  18. 6
  19. 7
  20. 8
  21. 9
  22. 10
  23. 11
  24. 12
  25. 13
  26. 14
  27. 15
  28. 16
  29. 17
  30. 18
  31. 19
  32. 20
  33. 21
  34. 22
  35. 23
  36. 24
  37. 25
  38. 26
  39. 27
  40. 28
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. 37
  50. Epilogue
  51. Author’s Note
  52. A Note on Recruitment

They stared at the enclosure with the high, wire fence. A number of rabbits hopped happily.

‘Oh good, some of them are white,’ said Jane. ‘She won’t stand out. Quick, drop her over the fence.’

Luke gently lifted the rabbit out and pulled off the woolly hat. The rabbit gazed placidly about her. ‘I can’t. The fence is too high. I can’t reach over.’

‘What?’

‘Well, obviously an enclosure designed to stop people taking rabbits out is going to stop them putting them in, isn’t it?’

They stared, defeated.

‘We could just throw her over and run away,’ muttered Luke.

Jane stared at him. ‘You can’t throw a pregnant rabbit over a fence, for God’s sake. The drop will kill her.’

Luke kicked the fence. ‘Fire truck.’

‘Very mature,’ said Matthew. ‘And there’s a keeper coming.’

‘Someone think of something. Quick.’

‘Stop panicking, Jane.’

‘Too late.’

‘I’ve had an idea,’ said Matthew. ‘Luke, quick – put her down. Gently.’

Luke placed the rabbit carefully on the ground. She stood still for a moment, nose twitching, hopped a few paces and then stopped again.

‘Oh, look,’ shouted Matthew, pointing. ‘Help. Someone help.’

‘What?’ muttered Luke. ‘What are you doing?’

The keeper altered course. ‘What’s the problem, sir?’

Matthew gestured. ‘I think one of your rabbits has escaped.’

The keeper bent casually and scooped her up. ‘Now then, Mrs Rabbit, where do you think you’re off to?’

Rabbit and assistant disappeared into the wooden stable. Minutes later, a door at the back of the enclosure opened and a massively fat white rabbit hopped out and headed for the food.

‘See,’ said Matthew to Luke. ‘It was that easy.’

Luke told him to fire truck off.

They watched for a while. Luke shook his head. ‘Can’t believe we got away with that.’

‘Can we go home now?’ said Jane, plaintively. ‘My head hurts.’

Back at TPHQ, they exited the pod to find North waiting for them.

She looked around in what Luke considered an unnecessarily exaggerated manner. ‘Where’s the rabbit?’

‘Dead,’ intoned Jane sepulchrally. ‘Dead and gone. Sad. So sad. Tragic, even.’

Luke nudged her into silence and said hastily, ‘The rabbit went in someone’s pot. We found the bones on a compost heap and the pelt hanging up somewhere. Outside a barn.’

North sighed. ‘That’s a shame. I’d arranged for it to find a home with the zoo next door. Never mind. Thank you, everyone. Carry on.’

20

20

They met together afterwards to compare reports.

‘Luke, you seriously headed your report Rampant Rabbit?’

‘Yeah. Didn’t you?’

She turned to Matthew. ‘What was yours titled?’

He grinned. ‘Rabid Rodent Ravages Rural Rustics. Yours?’

‘Report on Assignment 221/412/236/3,’ she said primly.

Luke shook his head. ‘Remember, Jane, no one likes a goody two shoes. Come and have a drink and I can show you where you’re going wrong.’ He looked at Matthew. ‘What about you? Fancy a drink?’