Jane’s face was tragic. ‘We can’t take her back to her death.’

‘Well, we can’t leave it here. And we can’t drop it off just anywhere, can we? It’s myxomatosis-proof. It’s like uranium or an old fridge – you have to dispose of it responsibly.’

‘There’s that zoo,’ said Matthew, slowly.

‘What zoo?’

‘The petting zoo in Battersea Park. It’s ideal. It’s just next door. I used to go there all the time. We could even visit her occasionally.’

‘Matthew – that’s brilliant.’

Luke stared at them both. ‘Lockland, are you concussed?’

‘Probably. Doesn’t stop it being a good idea.’

‘And how do you propose we do this?’

‘It’ll be easy,’ said Matthew. ‘It’s not like we’re taking one out. We’re putting one in.’

‘And what do we tell North?’

‘You’re team leader. You’ll think of something.’

Luke sunk his head in his hands. ‘Oh, God.’

Five minutes later, they were looking at Battersea Park Zoo.

‘Not many people about today,’ said Jane, squinting at the screen and rubbing her eyes.

‘What about children?’ said Luke. ‘Because I’ve gone off them in a big way. I’m not going out there if there are children everywhere.’

‘Well, there are,’ said Matthew, ‘but they all appear to have their handlers with them. Let’s go.’

The rabbit seemed quite happy to be conveyed from A to B in Jane’s backpack and Matthew produced a small woolly hat he had found in one of the lockers. ‘Perfect.’

Luke stared aghast. ‘I am not being seen in public with you wearing that hat.’

‘It’s not for me.’

‘Well, I’m not wearing it.’

‘It’s for the rabbit.’

He flattened her ears and placed it gently on her head, pulling it down over her eyes. ‘There you are – she looks just like a baby in a baby carrier.’

Luke stared at him. ‘What the hell do babies look like where you come from, mate, because this one’s got whiskers.’

‘Can we go?’ said Jane, plaintively. ‘Because I just want to go and lie down in a darkened room.’

‘You’re not the only one,’ muttered Luke. ‘Give me the backpack. Bloody hell – this thing weighs a ton.’

They set off across the park.

‘This is rather nice,’ said Jane, looking around. ‘We should come here more often.’

‘If they don’t arrest us,’ said Luke, ‘and we have to spend the rest of our lives in prison avoiding the showers.’

Consulting a convenient ‘You Are Here’ screen, they headed for the stables which were, apparently, home to a large number of donkeys, tiny ponies, Patagonian chickens and guinea pigs, as well as rabbits.

‘Well, that was worryingly easy,’ said Luke, staring at the mixed wildlife in front of them. ‘It’s not like us to have things go so well.’