Ben kissed her again. “See. That proves my point. I’m insane about you and because of you.” He kissed her deeper. When he finally broke the kiss it took him a moment to remember what they’d been talking about. “I’m sure I have a few traits that bother you.” He couldn’t think of any but he needed to be fair. “How do you feel about me, dear?”

He moved his lips to her throat so he could nibble while she answered.

“Sure.” She laughed. “I’d probably need three, maybe four tablets to get them all written down, but Ben, you have one thing you do that is perfect.”

“What?”

“I love the way you make love to me.” She wrapped her arms around him and they stopped talking for a while.

When their breathing finally slowed, he whispered, “Move in with me, sleep with me, marry me for one reason.”

“What’s that?” she asked, almost asleep.

“Because I don’t want to live without you in my life.”

Patting his jaw, she whispered, “You think you could say you love me a few more times before you start changing our lives, Ben?”

He rolled off her and onto his back. “Decisions should be backed with logic, not feeling. We fit together. We share careers and interests in common.”

“No. Love is a feeling. It is not logical. None of your reasons of saving time and money can be measured in feelings.”

Ben closed his eyes. He could feel her pulling away. A memory buried deep in his thoughts floated up. They’d had this same conversation at the lake all those years ago. He wanted to think logically, and Jenny wanted to talk about feelings. She hadn’t just disappeared. She’d walked away from him that morning. She’d left because of what he hadn’t said.

He remembered swearing that morning that he’d never let emotion rule his actions. He’d seen his father break because of them.

Ben was barely aware of Jenny moving out of bed. He knew she’d only gone into the bathroom, but he felt her loss as if she were an ocean away. The knowledge that he’d pushed her away all those years ago hit him like a blow.

He felt her loss even though she was almost within his reach.

Chapter 32 - Ketch

Chapter 32

Ketch

The whole world seemed to be resting in still, silent air as Ketch stretched his long, lean muscles at the bottom of his loft stairs. He needed to run to clear his head and think.

His part in the professors’ project was finished, and he felt most of his studies were winding down. He could almost feel his life shifting again, changing, morphing into another foreign land he’d have to cross. Before long he’d be moving, and he didn’t even need to pack. Starting over. Rebuilding his life, remaking himself.