Back Deeds of Autumn
Chapters (71)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Chapter 10
  15. Chapter 11
  16. Chapter 12
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Chapter 22
  27. Chapter 23
  28. Chapter 24
  29. Chapter 25
  30. Chapter 26
  31. Chapter 27
  32. Chapter 28
  33. Chapter 29
  34. Chapter 30
  35. Chapter 31
  36. Chapter 32
  37. Chapter 33
  38. Chapter 34
  39. Chapter 35
  40. Chapter 36
  41. Chapter 37
  42. Chapter 38
  43. Chapter 39
  44. Chapter 40
  45. Chapter 41
  46. Chapter 42
  47. Chapter 43
  48. Chapter 44
  49. Chapter 45
  50. Chapter 46
  51. Chapter 47
  52. Chapter 48
  53. Chapter 49
  54. Chapter 50
  55. Chapter 51
  56. Chapter 52
  57. Chapter 53
  58. Chapter 54
  59. Chapter 55
  60. Chapter 56
  61. Chapter 57
  62. Chapter 58
  63. Chapter 59
  64. Chapter 60
  65. Chapter 61
  66. Chapter 62
  67. Chapter 63
  68. Chapter 64
  69. Author’s Note
  70. Extract from Rites of Spring
  71. About the Author

People usually open up to Anna. Håkan always said that there was something about her that made this happen, but in fact it’s all down to her stammer. She knows it’s barely noticeable, a minor stumble over certain sounds that she can sometimes pre-empt, sometimes not. She never even thought of it as a problem until her parents sent her to a speech therapist at some point during her years in primary school. As a result she began to avoid speaking and focused on listening instead. Most people listen with only half an ear; they’re mostly thinking about what they’re going to say next, and so they miss what is really being said – not only the words themselves and the nuances of tone, but also the involuntary micro-clues that human beings constantly give. The head movements, the gestures, the grimaces, the pauses. Signs that sometimes directly contradict the content of the conversation. That was how she realised at an early stage that her parents were going to split up. And that Håkan was cheating on her.

Agnes’s silence, on the other hand, makes Anna hyper-conscious of every word, every syllable that crosses her lips, and somehow that feeling transfers to her speech centre. It becomes an electrical fault in the communication between her brain and her mouth, makes her appear uncertain. She hates this, because stammering has nothing whatsoever to do with uncertainty.

Breathe, breathe . . .

She glances at herself in the rear-view mirror, sees that she is clenching her jaw in the way she really doesn’t like. She has inherited her dark hair and eyes from her father, along with her slightly angular nose, but that particular bitter expression is definitely a legacy from her mother. She shakes her head, tells herself that she is doing the right thing in following the school counsellor’s advice to be patient and avoid confrontation. Which of course is easy for him to say, because he only sees Agnes for an hour a week. He doesn’t have to live with her.

Breathe . . .

The trees are closing in around the track, and Milo is still pressing his nose to the side window and making excited little noises. The dog was one of Håkan’s bright ideas. He simply appeared on the doorstep on Agnes’s fourteenth birthday with the puppy in his arms. They’d promised each other that they wouldn’t turn into a stereotype. They would stick to a mutually agreed line, they would never play the divorced parents’ equivalent of good cop, bad cop. And yet that’s exactly what they did.