He nods, flipping my wrist over. Then he leans back and takes out another vial, one filled with a purple liquid.

“I’ve seen that before,” I tell him. “Back in The Colony’s hospital.”

“And probably many times,” he says and holds the vile up between his finger. “Because it’s what causes the little gaps in your memories.”

I almost choke. Monarch put that medicine in me. Monarch erased my mind?

“Now Kayla, I’m going to give you two options and I don’t do it for everyone, only for special cases like yourself,” he continues. “Sometimes, people come here from The Colony, just ordinary Bellators who just happen to be a talented fighter. But sometimes there are Bellators who are different—unique—and for those I offer another choice.” He flips the purple vile into the palm of his hand. “I can make you forget everything, so that you can wake up believing this has always been your life.”

“Why would you do that?” I bite at my thumbnail. “And what do you mean by unique?” I ask, wondering if he knows all my secrets.

“Unique in the sense that the things you’re going to remember are going to be painful,” he says. “But it’s your choice. Either I can inject the purple—the radier into you and you can go on your way, thinking this is how it’s always been, or I can give you the clear—the  minte and we can gradually start unwinding what’s tangled up inside your head.”

I notice the fact that the names’ of the medicines are spoken in the language of the Highers. “I won’t remember everything all at once?”

He shakes his head. “It’s a slow process, especially if your memories are painful. But like I said, you can choose to forget, if you want.”

“Were you a unique case?” I ask and he nods. “And what did you choose?”

He raises his missing hand. “I chose to remember.”

It’s like I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life and I know what I have to do, without even thinking about it. I tap the clear vial with my finger. “I want to remember.”

He presses his lips together and with a grave expression, nods. “Okay, then.” He places the purple vial back in the drawer, takes out a syringe, and stabs it into the vial. “Brace yourself, Kayla” he says and then inserts the needle into my arm.

My hands clutch onto the armrest. I suck in a breath of air as the clear medicine pumps through my veins. I wait for my memory, but I can only see red.

Blood.

Blood everywhere.

I can’t see through the blood.

I scream, but is it for real? Or in my head?

Pain. Pain surrounds me. My skin peels away as I claw at my own flesh.