‘We know how it is. However well we try. You can’t blame the enumerators. Their brains can only do so much. You give it your best shot but there’s always something you can’t control. Good things came out of it though. I gathered data on the effects of paan on sanitation. We have it for one month in one location. We can extrapolate these findings and conclude that this is the amount of spitting that goes on near every paanwala in Bombay. Given the volume, these spitters are surely responsible for the clogged drains. Not only that, they are also liable for the plague and all sorts of other diseases caused by unsanitary conditions.’

‘I know where you are going with this. Ingenious. I say we raise the matter with the municipal corporation.’

‘We have the data to support our claim.’

‘I always knew I could count on you. Why don’t you draft a petition?’ Thompson was enthusiastic.

‘Will you talk to someone inside the corporation first?’

‘I know just the person,’ Thompson responded.

The next week the discussion continued.

‘He said it was unfeasible. “Good idea. Not thought through though. The government follows a policy of non-interference on cultural matters,”’ said Thompson.

‘This isn’t cultural. It’s a matter of public hygiene,’ argued Young.

‘The government doesn’t think so. Food habits are cultural.’

‘How terrible is that? Sacrificing the health of all for the habits of a few.’

‘He said that if you show your results to the sanitation department, they might be convinced to introduce a fine for spitting. That should take care of things,’ said Thompson.

‘We should talk to the Parsees. They have considerable influence in the municipal corporation, don’t they?’

‘Influence! They practically run the whole thing.’

‘They must be behind the sanitation regulations too,’ Young replied.

‘I know what they might say, it’s always the same problem, who will enforce it? They are badly understaffed.’

‘Don’t worry about that. The law will fill their pockets many times over. Congratulations! Chewing gum will soon replace paan in the native mouth,’ Young said.

Thompson smiled. Young’s American optimism was contagious. ‘Congratulations to you too. The betel trees have finally found their saviour.’

21

‘Pesi, Roshan is in trouble again.’

‘What did your brother do now?’ Pestonjee asked.

‘He wrote about Mohammed in the papers.’

‘In his own name?’

‘No, yours!’

‘Why don’t people leave Mohammed alone? Twenty years ago, there was another enthusiastic dikra poking his nose into other people’s affairs. What a riot it caused. Why does it matter whose son he was? What did he look like? What did he wear? If the Mohammedans don’t want to see him, why are you interested?’

‘Let them not. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to see people others don’t want to see. We see your mother, don’t we?’ Persis retorted.

‘It’s impossible to talk with you.’