‘You Chinaman, I don’t need your horse pill. I am a horse. Neigh. Neigh. See. Bigger than a horse.’ Banerjee pulled down his pants. Before he could pull his underwear to his knees, the Chinese man and the doorman grabbed each of his arms and took him out—Banerjee felt he was levitating. Young staggered behind.

‘Come along, then. We’re going to Dhobi Ghaut. I will take you to the queen. She wants me. I’m her stallion,’ Banerjee said to Young.

‘Victoria! Pick me up,’ Banerjee bellowed at a passing carriage.

‘Napoleon! Napoleon!’ Young yelled. ‘Natwarlal.’

Natwarlal rushed to substitute the Chinese man at Banerjee’s side.

‘That will be eight annas,’ the carriage driver said.

‘Half a rupee? That’s extortion! Selling your horse, are you? During the day, it’s not even two annas,’ haggled Young.

‘There’s three of you. It’s way past midnight. The streets are knee deep in water. I will have to clean my Victoria after you get off. Thank your stars I’m here.’

‘When I see you again, I will remember what you charged me,’ Young muttered.

‘I have a very poor memory, sir. I won’t remember a thing. And I’m sure you won’t either.’

16

Young employed three enumerators to conduct a survey to know the who, why, what, where and how of paan-chewing in the city. He gave each of them a red notebook, a pencil and a typed sheet with instructions.

- The first row was to be filled with the column headings.

- The columns included the name of the person (or a unique identification if names were not forthcoming), a list of ingredients in his/her paan, the time of purchase, characteristics such as gender, age and occupation, and notes for additional information, if any.

- There were fourteen types of paan and forty-seven ingredients.

- The subsequent rows were to be populated with data for each individual.

- The enumerators were to sit at assigned locations: Colaba, Fort, and Mahim.

‘Hand in your reports every Friday, before five,’ Young ordered.

‘Myself, Thorle Saheb (The Eldest One), from Kasegaon village, Pandharpur taluka, Solapur district.’

‘Hmm.’ Young was surprised. He noticed the disconnect between Thorle Saheb’s formidable name and his not-so-formidable stature. His family had abandoned the name within the first few years, and now called him ‘Bandu’ although he resisted, refusing to answer to this sobriquet outside the bounds of his house. A lion is not called a lion because he is bigger. A cow is not called a cow because she is smaller.