‘My uncle had a monkey too. He bought it as a pet for his son. One day his son was teaching that monkey a game, in which you put your hands together in front of your body like this and the other person tries to slap your hands. If he wins he gets another chance, else it’s your turn.’

‘As a child, I used to hit very hard. No one dared to play with me.’

‘The monkey tried to slap my cousin’s palms and failed. Then my cousin tried to slap the monkey’s palm and won. He laughed loudly. The monkey was angry and slapped my cousin’s face. His fingers were imprinted on the boy’s cheek for five days. Monkeys look small, but  . It’s a running joke in the family. At school, they asked him what happened. He said he had gotten into a fight with a boy from another school.’

‘That monkey was too smart for him. What happened to it?’

‘My uncle returned it the next day.’

‘Poor monkey.’

‘The cow isn’t tied. Must be a stray. According to Victoria, a free cow can be put to use if it is wandering about and belongs to no one,’ the officer interrupted.

‘But, sir, not for a Mohammedan,’ said Natwarlal.

‘The rules are different for one-eyed cows,’ Battisi added meekly. His voice did not reach the officer but his glorious smile did.

‘Both her eyes are intact,’ Natwarlal responded. ‘She has a bell around her neck.’

‘Are we stealing her? We’ll get her back in no time,’ the officer assured.

Natwarlal gathered some leafy twigs from a hedge not far from the monkey. ‘Is this enough?’

‘She won’t eat them,’ Battisi responded, still focused on the monkey pacing around agitatedly.

‘She will. There’s no time to look for grass,’ the officer said.

The cow looked at the leafy twigs Natwarlal was dangling in front of her. When he began rubbing them on her nose she opened her mouth, took it in, then spat it out instantly.

‘Now, how do I tie this rope?’ the officer attempted to take control.

‘Around her neck, take it over her ears and horns, sir,’ Natwarlal responded.

The officer held the noose like a garland and advanced. The cow shook her head and the rope fell into dung.

‘Eeep!’

‘It is okay. Don’t you eat it, sir?’ said Natwarlal.

‘Better to eat dung than cows,’ responded the officer.

They managed to tie the rope around her neck. Meanwhile, Natwarlal ran across to the temple’s gate to buy some grass.