ROY: No, no, she’s put her finger on something. Props! There.

He rushes to a table and gets some coffee mugs, giving one to HENRY and DOUG and keeping one for himself.

We’re drinking coffee then.

RUTH: But there’s none in there.

LEWIS: We might pretend for a moment.

RUTH: I can live with illusion as long as I know it’s illusion, but this coffee is not real, is it?

LEWIS: No, they’re pretending.

RUTH: The audience thinks it’s real coffee?

LEWIS: If the acting is good enough, yes.

RUTH: An illusion of reality. A real illusion, in other words?

LEWIS: Yes.

RUTH: But, as I said before: I can handle something being an illusion or real but not at the same time.

LEWIS is flummoxed.

ROY: Ruth?

RUTH: Yes?

ROY: Shut up. [To LEWIS] The theatre is no place for metaphysics.

RUTH: It’s about coffee—!

LEWIS: Ruth! We might move on. Until we get real coffee we’ll pretend.

RUTH: [grumpily] All right.

LEWIS: Roy.

ROY:

My Dorabella wouldn’t do such a thing.
Heaven made her faithful
as she is beautiful.

DOUG:

My Fiordiligi would never betray me.
I believe her constancy
is equal to her beauty.

They look to HENRY as it is his cue.

LEWIS: Henry, your lines: ‘My hair is grey, so I speak with authority…’

HENRY refuses to say them. Instead he takes a toy soldier out of his pocket and examines it as if he is not part of the rehearsal.

Henry, please…

HENRY shakes his head. ROY falls to his knees and starts banging his head on the floor.

ROY: Why?! Why am I always let down?! Why do people let me down?!

LEWIS: Roy, don’t do that.

DOUG: Roy, you’re hurting the floor.

CHERRY: [to JULIE, who laughs] Do-it-yourself lobotomy.

LEWIS: Roy!

ROY stops.

Henry, you came along here, so you must want to do Così fan Tutte.

HENRY: [pointing to ROY] Hhhhhee made me dddddo it.

ROY: For your own good. Look, Henry, you’re a failure, as a human being and as a lawyer. Così offers you a chance to do something successful at least once in your dismal life.

LEWIS: Roy, no one is a success or failure.

ROY: Tell that to the failures of this world.

HENRY: Rrrrroy is right.

ROY: Out of the goodness of my heart I have given you a major role and what happened? You let me down. Just as you let your parents and your clients down. God knows how you can live with yourself.

LEWIS: I don’t think that approach will help, Roy.

ROY: I’ve known him for six years, Jerry, but you’re the director. [He sits down sullenly and leans over to DOUG.] Couldn’t direct traffic down a one-way street.

LEWIS: What we might do, Henry, is to come back to this scene. We’ll do as much of the next scene as I’ve translated and you’ll see how it’s done.

ROY: [sarcastically] Oh, bravo! Masterstroke!

LEWIS: [ignoring ROY, he turns to the women] We’ll do scene two. It’s a garden by the seashore.