Janice looked at her as if she were trying to explain to a child why it wasn’t proper to scratch your butt in public. “I don’t know where to start.”

“At the beginning?”

“Fine.” Janice pushed her half-empty coffee cup to the side. “Nobody will believe it. I mean, you’ve done a lot of crazy things in the past, but this—”

Madison let her fork clatter onto her plate. “There’s nothing crazy about it. I’ll pay this waitress a nice sum of money to play my girlfriend. You can buy anybody for the right price.”

“Let’s pretend for a ridiculous moment that you’ll be able to talk her into going along with your silly plan. The idea that you of all people could play a loving partner and stepmother is absurd. You wouldn’t make it through even one week without parties and booty calls.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Madison pointed her fork at Janice. “Besides, I don’t think Grandmother Eileen will live much longer. How old is she? A hundred and fifty?” She chuckled at her own joke. “And how hard can it be to play a boring family person?” Just thinking about the role she would play with Sherry brought a smile to her face. Maybe playing the waitress’s partner would be anything but boring. Sherry wouldn’t be the first straight woman she had enticed into her bed.

She looked Janice directly in the eye to convey that she was serious. “There’s a lot of money on the line here. I can make it happen. Trust me.”

“I would bet a year’s salary that you’ll fail.”

“Sure, why not?”

“Stop making fun of me. Even if the waitress does accept your offer and you stop being, well, you, how will you get a job and—”

“Wait! I didn’t say anything about getting a job.”

Again, Janice looked at her as if she were a little child. “How are you planning to convince your grandmother you’re taking responsibility without getting a job? Believe it or not, responsible people have responsibilities. You’ll never be believable as a housewife or stay-at-home mom, so that means you need a job. Don’t tell me you didn’t think of that in your oh-so-fantastic plan.”

The apple pie sat like lead in her belly. It wasn’t that she was lazy by any means—not really. But working? She’d never had to work and never wanted to either. “So, um, you think a job would be a must to make it believable?”

“Your question alone proves that you have no chance of convincing your grandmother.”

Anger bubbled up deep inside of her. She would prove Janice wrong. At any cost. “What do you make in a year?”

“Why?”

“Come on. How much?”

“Seventy plus bonuses. So about a hundred. Why?”

“What? That’s all?”