‘No. I don’t,’ she says into the phone and I can hear her teeth are gritted. ‘I can’t see what it matters any more. That’s the trouble with you counsellors, you think you have to dig up the past to help you find the future. You don’t. You just get on with it.’

I sigh, ignoring her rant. ‘I found out Jill died.’

‘What?’ she gasps. ‘What happened?’

I tell Bonnie the brief details I know.

‘That’s awful.’

‘I know. Mum knew, though,’ I say. ‘Annie told her when it happened. Why didn’t she tell me?’

‘It doesn’t surprise me. Mum didn’t tell us everything,’ Bonnie says. ‘Do you remember that rabbit you found when you were eight? You wanted to keep it as a pet. You begged them to let you. Danny said he’d make it a hutch.’

‘I remember. It ran off.’

‘No, it didn’t. Dad pointed out it had myxomatosis and Mum told him they had to get rid of it. We never saw that rabbit again.’

I remember Mum crouching in front of me, looking into my eyes and telling me wild rabbits loved to run free. I shake my head. ‘That’s hardly the same thing,’ I say. ‘People tell kids things like that so they don’t get upset.’

‘The point is Mum omitted telling us things if she wanted to.’

‘You’re talking about a wild rabbit. She should have told me about my best friend dying.’

‘I agree with you,’ Bonnie says. ‘She should’ve.’

‘It feels so wrong.’ I take a deep breath, releasing it slowly. ‘I haven’t even seen her in twenty-five years but I feel like I’ve lost a good friend.’

‘She was a good friend.’

‘She was the best,’ I say, tears springing to my eyes. I wipe them away quickly. ‘Apparently she had heart failure. But it all seems weird.’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Do people that age suddenly get heart failure?’ I ask.

‘Of course they do. It can happen at any age.’

‘I don’t know, Ruth acted like there was more to it. And she was odd about Mum dying, too. They always got on, didn’t they?’ I ask.

‘As far as I know. Why?’

She just totally dismissed her death. And Bob Taylor said none of us should have come back.’

‘Well,’ she pauses, ‘he’s right.’