‘It’s no excuse,’ I say firmly, and I feel harsh doing so but it’s what I would have said if this is what I’d been building up to.

I sit back too, my arms aching to pull her in and hold her against me. Bonnie bites her lips and eventually looks away, and I hope that if her drinking is the hardest thing we have to deal with, we’ll be alright.

Yes, I decide, I can live with a lie, because the alternative is unbearable. I’ll spend the rest of my life having to trust Bob and Annie, just like my mum did, but I will do it because I won’t lose my sister. I have lost too much already.

And I’ll live with it hanging over me forever, because that’s the trouble with secrets. They never go away.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book has been inspired by own my childhood memories, which may sound odd given that I didn’t live on an island and there were thankfully no dead bodies in our garden… But through Stella I was able to relive my own past, and the many happy times I had. For this I have my mum to thank. She taught me that a happy child doesn’t need money – they need love, support and security. So, for my mum – Jo Welch – thank you for giving me all of this in abundance.

Writing is definitely a team effort and I feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by the best, starting with my fantastic agent, Nelle Andrew. You are a star and I am so grateful to have you on my side. I could not have done any of this without you.

Emily Griffin, I could not ask for a better editor to work with and I’m so thrilled I get the chance to write more books with you. The entire team at Century and Arrow have made what is already an exciting journey even better. I am grateful to each and every one of you, and I would like to pay particular thanks to: Natalia Cacciatore, Rachel Kennedy, Claire Simmonds, Amber Bennett-Ford, Jess Ballance, Linda Hodgson and Emma Grey Gelder.

Chris Bradford, for all the times I’ve picked your brains and called you with odd questions – thank you. I am still in awe of your knowledge and hope you won’t mind me continuing to bother you with plenty more queries as I write.

Similarly, Phillipa Shawyer, thank you for your medical input – especially when I rap on your window in a dark car park to ask you about drugs!

Writing can be a lonely business but, Melissa Carr, our coffee-shop sessions are always great fun – though possibly I don’t get as much done when there are too many other things to talk about!