‘Maybe if we’d all been more honest, things could have been different,’ I say.

‘Maybe if they’d been more honest I might not be here,’ Bonnie murmurs. ‘I meant nothing to Iona, did I?’ she says.

I pull her closer. ‘How come you were still friends with her after what she said?’ I ask, and feel her stiffen in my arms.

I don’t think she’s going to answer, but at last she says, ‘I didn’t have any others.’

I close my eyes, burying my head in her hair, holding her tighter still. ‘Did you give her your friendship bracelet?’

She nods.

‘She was still wearing it when she died, Bon. I think maybe you did mean something to her.’

I know that in the morning Bonnie will continue to persuade me to leave without looking for Ange. I now understand why the thought of digging into the truth is unbearable for her.

I’ll have to cross that bridge then, but as we lie together I ask myself whether I can stop searching and put my sister first.

It’s only a fleeting question.

There’s no way I can walk away now.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I dream of the island again. My sleep is plagued with distorted images: the people; my secret place; Mum. She is always at the forefront, and when I wake I am cold but laced with sweat.

In my dream Mum had stripped off mask after mask, each time revealing another layer that was never her. I can’t shake it from my head, because if there was one person I could rely on it was her. She was my safety blanket.

Would you tell me the truth now, Mum?

Not that long ago I’d have said with certainty that she would. I lie next to Bonnie, trying to untangle Mum’s decisions, and it comes to me that maybe all she was doing was hoping to protect us. Maybe she thought the truth was too hard for us to hear.

Bonnie is snoring gently. I push off the covers and swing my legs from the bed. It also occurs to me that I’ll never know. Death has a way of making that a certainty.

It’s just after ten when Bonnie leaves, reminding me again that I’m to drive home too. I tell her I want to look around Shirley and she begrudgingly accepts this. The truth is, I’m dithering over my decision.

There are possibly answers that are a ten-minute drive away. But then I came looking for ones that could help Danny, not throw more shade on my family. Plus I made a promise to my sister, and I already know how much damage I would cause by breaking it.

I am pacing the car park when I get a text from Freya, making sure I let her know as soon as I find anything.