If you’re not ready to do anything yet, that’s fine. I completely understand. But please, PLEASE keep this at the forefront of your mind. Keep thinking about it and asking yourself if Tom is the person you think he is, or if I might just be right.

You need to know the truth. Because otherwise it could cost you your life.

Jess x

34

I read Jess’s email a second time, and I immediately feel as if I’ve sobered up.

Tom never mentioned an ex called Jess. He’s mentioned Erin, the one who disappeared with their daughter, but even then I got the distinct impression it wasn’t something he wanted to go into detail about. Understandably so. But Jess? I’ve never heard of her.

If what she’s saying is true — if — then that would explain why. He’s hardly going to admit to that, is he? But at the same time that doesn’t make it true. Otherwise there’d be people popping up all over the place saying ‘Did you know Person X is a murderer/paedophile/morris dancer?’ and people would be leaving their partners left, right and centre.

Although I thought the email had sobered me up, it’s becoming clear it didn’t. I am, however, lucid enough to ask myself if I would have reacted in the same way to this email if I’d received it a few weeks ago. Hell, even a few days or even hours ago. It’s arrived on the same night that Tom put his hands around my throat and nearly choked me before walking out of our home. Is that all part of the plan? But what plan? The more I think about things, the more complicated it gets.

I read Jess’s email again, trying to take in every word, every letter, trying to make sense of it all. Why would he lie about his parents being dead? Does he not get on with them? Surely it’d be easier to just say that.

At any other time, I’d think Jess was a nutter. But so much seems to ring true. The mention of him calling me Butterfly, for starters. But that’s something anyone could know. Someone in the street could have overheard that. And yes, he did tell me his parents were dead. That’s also perfectly reasonable for someone else to know. If, for example, they are dead. Saying they’re not doesn’t make them alive.

She said she doesn’t want to go into detail about stuff in an email. Well, of course she doesn’t. But she’s perfectly willing to email a stranger out of the blue and tell her that Tom’s some sort of psychopath? And I’m meant to just believe her?

I mark the email as unread, then walk back out into my hallway and check the door is fully locked. Then, just for good measure, I put the security chain across. I know logically that’s not going to stop anyone, but every little helps, and it makes me feel better.

I realise that by now my instinct should have been to bring this up with Tom. But even if he was right here in this house with me I still don’t think I would. And why? That’s the thing that keeps me wondering, makes me think perhaps there’s something at the back of my mind which somehow rings true, which doesn’t make Jess Caton sound like a bunny boiler but actually gives her a lot of credibility.