‘I’ll call her,’ I say. ‘I’ll apologise.’

‘Oh no you won’t. That ship’s long sailed. We’ve got absolutely no chance. She’s made a formal complaint against you, Grace. She’s refusing to pay a single penny of her bill until she’s satisfied that you’ve gone through the proper disciplinary procedure.’

My chest hurts. My eyes sting. I want this all to end.

‘Right,’ I say, my voice a hoarse whisper.

‘We’re not sure what that is yet. I’ve spoken to the other directors and we think we might be able to do some damage limitation on your part by leaving a bit of time for Matilda to calm down. In the meantime, we’ve got to suspend you pending further investigation and discussions.’

‘Suspend me?’

‘It’s for your own good, Grace. Trust me. If we can put a bit of time between this, we might be able to bring her back off the ledge. We’ve lost her business, we know that, but if we can play this right, we might just be able to save you.’

‘Save me?’

‘According to our company disciplinary procedure, it’s gross misconduct, Grace. Your actions have brought the company into disrepute. By rights, we should terminate your employment. I’m not going to lie, that’s still on the cards. But believe me, we don’t want to have to do that. We’re in a lot of shit and I’m locking horns with the other directors just to try and keep hold of you. You know the difficulties we’ve been in this year thanks to Pelham-fucking-Saunders. Three guesses who Matilda Dewitt’s given her next five gallery launches to? Just go home, take a breather and let us deal with this, okay?’

I look at Sue, my eyes filling with tears as I begin to realise I might not be quite as in control of my life as I was hoping.

22

Monday 6 January

I haven’t had much sleep over the past few nights. I’ve been awake for most of them, tossing and turning, worrying about what had happened at work.

I told Tom about it as soon as he got home on Thursday, and he was shocked but supportive. He told me he was sure it would all sort itself out and that Sue would be able to talk Matilda round. I’m not so sure on that front. My main worry is that she won’t be able to convince the company to keep me on. We’re already looking at the strong possibility of redundancies, and I doubt someone who’d recently committed gross misconduct is going to be anywhere other than top of the list when the axe falls.

I realise how damaging my stupid mistake must have been for the company, but it could be catastrophic for me. If I lose my job I’ll have nothing. I’ve got nothing already, so I’ll have even less. I’ll lose the house, without a shadow of a doubt. Tom won’t be able to cover the full mortgage. He’s not even covered his own half yet. And there’s no way I’ll be able to walk straight into another job after having just been sacked for gross misconduct and bringing my previous employer into disrepute.