I heard him settling onto the floor, sitting down near me. The edge of one of his tails brushed against my bare foot, and before he could yank it away I grabbed it and started hugging his tail against my chest. My throat hurt as if I'd scalded it, all the way down into my chest, my ribs bars of iron trapping my pounding heart like a tiger in a circus cage. But I couldn't kill Dain's tail, he was safe from me and I could still hold him, could still have my Dain in my arms.

"It was a memory," I said, my voice cracking as I forced the words out.

I couldn't bring myself to get back in bed. I curled up on the floor, clutching Dain's tail so hard it had to have hurt him, and all he did was pull down a pillow off the bed and slide it over to me, and then drag off the quilt so I could have that, too. He sat there silently while the terror ran through me, and as I fell asleep again under the side table I knew he'd stay awake, and watch over me to make sure I came to no harm.

Dain's tail was still in my arms when I woke up to the morning light, his fur rumpled from where I'd been holding him. I let him go, trying to smooth down the fur, and heard him make a soft sound, almost like the sounds of enjoyment he made while I brushed out his tails. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, focusing on getting his fur to lie flat again. Something was wrong, and until I knew what was wrong – until I knew what I'd done – I couldn't trust myself to be near him. I would never be able to live with myself if I killed him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, in a gentle voice.

Part of me wanted to cry at the question, a little hiccup of a sob making itself known. "Not good," I said, my voice wavering.

"Will you be alright for a few minutes while I go deal with the demands of my body?" Dain asked, still in that same soothing voice. "All the doors are locked, and I'll leave the door open to your bathroom if you'd like."

I fiddled with his fur for a few minutes in silence, then nodded. "You can close the door if you want," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Okay," he said. He drew his tail out of my hands, then got up and walked over to my bathroom.