"Dain," I said, almost breathless from the pain in his voice. "Dain, of course I do. You're the best thing in my life." I had to fight back tears at the look of desperate want on his face. "I didn't kiss you for the sake of sex. What I wanted to do was love you." My chest hurt, and I had to swallow to clear the tightness in my throat. "Do you think I'm just whiling away the time, looking forward to saying goodbye? I'm losing my goddamn mind over here. I keep fucking crying myself to sleep and all my nightmares are about never seeing you again. I don't know how to fix myself, and I thought maybe—" I put my face in my hands, panting. "I thought maybe if I could just kiss you, and feel what it might be like to be your lover, then I'd know."

"I'm sorry," he said, all in a rush.

I dragged my head up to look at him.

Dain looked back with agony and pleading. "I shouldn't have run away from you. Leah, I'm so sorry, we could have had more time—"

"It's not so terrible, you know, being here in Faery with you," I said to stop his pained words, trying to smile for him, my mouth trembling. "It's got nothing to do with Faery, and everything to do with you. I want to love you, and I want to be with you. I want to fall asleep with you and I want to wake up with you sprawled on top of me. I want to get to discover every inch of you, and have you do the same to me." Holding onto my smile, blinking back tears, I looked at him, wanting so badly to say yes, and not understanding what held me back. "I want to figure out what's keeping me from stepping into eternity with you, but I need you with me to do that."

A shiver ran down Dain's body, his ears relaxing and dropping and his mouth opening slightly. He licked his lips and moved his mouth like he wanted to say something, but no sound came out. He closed his eyes and shivered again, almost a shudder. "You should go," he said in a whisper.

I didn't move, watching him as he breathed too hard. Without thinking, I bit my lower lip, looking at that expression of want on his face.

"Leah..." Dain took a few short, panting breaths. "Please go before I can't keep myself from begging."

Desire thudded into me, my pulse picking up and throbbing between my legs. Oh, wow, okay. Begging. Dain, begging. I swallowed through a throat gone thick and made myself get up out of the chair. "Okay," I said, all but breathing the word. "Have a nice bath."