Dain cuddled closer, tucking a wing-arm around me and flopping his tails over our legs to drape over my shin. "Relax," he said, running his nose through my hair. "I will be healthy soon enough, Leah, and things can return to normal."

"Nothing's normal," I said, but I tried to relax for him anyway. "Um. What promises were clashing?"

"I'm not answering that," he murmured, and kissed me softly on the hair. "But you're a smart woman. If you think about it, perhaps you will find your answer."

Kissed me on the hair, I realized, and flushed. Of course. The promise to strive for friendship unless I told him I wanted something else. I knew he was attracted to me; total platonic affection wasn't his first choice, though it still felt like a possibility for us, if I settled my terror of being trapped in Faery for eternity. Dain wanted to be able to be affectionate to me in other ways than pure friendship. I'd let the heat of our sexual attraction fade into the background as we fell into the rhythms of friendship, but it hadn't gone away.

"Is that dawning realization?" he said, sounding amused.

"More or less," I replied in a drawl, and was rewarded by a soft laughter-adjacent sound and a squeeze of his fingers against mine.

"Are you upset?" The question had some caution in it, as if he might get in trouble for having an interest in my body.

I snorted out my own laughter-adjacent sound. "That you think I'm attractive and might like to kiss me? Hardly."

Dain pulled me flush against his chest in a gentle hug. "Have you changed your mind about wanting that from me?" he asked, a small waver in his voice.

My mouth felt suddenly dry. I licked my lips, then sighed. "I miss my family, Dain," I said, and didn't try to hide my sorrow or tumult. "Forever is a long time, and I never even had a chance to say goodbye."

"Are you waiting for the end of our time, then?"

I didn't know what to make of the tone of his voice. He didn't sound upset, but when he slipped into that conversational tone, it so often was a way for him to avoid showing his emotions, and I thought that had to be what was happening now. I remembered thinking with dread that Dain was giving me the power to break his heart. The answer to that calmly-spoken question was 'yes' in aggregate because I wasn't ready to accept any balance between us, but I felt misaligned, as if I was made of a thousand compasses all pointing in different directions. Some of them – many of them – pointed at the man lying against my back, but so many others hadn't swung towards him.

"I don't know what I want anymore," I said quietly. "I just... don't know."