‘You fucking psycho,’ I hear someone say close to my ear. I follow the sound with my eyes and look into the mouth of the rifle, and at the other end of it, Anton’s icy, cool eyes. For a long while, he holds the weapon trained straight at my face and I make myself look him in the eye, daring him to pull the trigger, knowing he won’t. Behind him, the nimble body of a black-and-white police helicopter comes into view, lowering itself into the clearing.

Epilogue

Anton, hours earlier

He feels a growing restlessness every day when he wakes up, gasping for air, feeling as though he is emerging from a dream in which someone was trying to drown him. Today is no different. It’s already past midday and he can taste yesterday’s booze in his mouth. The bed is empty next to him and he runs his hand across the cool sheets.

He’s been waiting for many days now. He considers going back up there to Bekkebu, but after the last time, the day after he lost it completely and hit her, finally turning her lie about him into truth, he’s not sure it’s a good idea. When she opened the door to him she held her head high, letting the golden rays of the autumn sun settle on her deep violet skin, and he realized that his apologies just wouldn’t cut it. Still, she let him in and they talked. He had the sensation of having driven down a dead-end road – that there really would be no more going back this time. I’m sorry, he kept saying. She kept nodding, but her eyes were miles away. What are you doing here? he asked, looking around the sweet, familiar cabin. Writing, she said. Waiting. She wouldn’t say what for, or for whom. I’ll be back on Thursday, she said. I’m going to need you to be out of the apartment when I come.

No.

Yes.

He doesn’t like to think about what happened next. He can’t fully remember, anyway, besides screaming at her so loud his voice broke. He’s still hoarse now, several days later, that’s how loudly he screamed at the woman in front of him. She doesn’t get to do the leaving. It’s not how it works between them. He leaves, she begs for him to return, he hates her for being so pathetic, but he misses her too, and he’s learned to call those emotions love. So he returns to her and they have a few weeks of relative peace after whichever drama came before. They do this again and again. Until now.