To think that Leah sat that close to me, close enough to smoothly exchange the bags, and I didn’t notice her, is profoundly disturbing. But I know all too well that we don’t often see what we’re not looking for. I try to recall whether I ever felt like I was being watched or like someone was following me. I do remember the episode she referred to, and it is the only time I can remember ever seeing Leah outside of the therapy room. It was during the winter, months after the episode with the handbag, so by then, she must have been playing this game for close to a year. Eirik and I went skiing in Geilo, a rare weekend away together, and treated ourselves to a stay at Dr Holm’s Hotel. On the second evening, we were at the after-ski hotel bar, drinking champagne and reminiscing about how we used to go away like that together all the time. We vowed to do it more often. We were just about to start our third round of IVF and were in that phase of really believing it was going to work this time. Third time lucky, we said and gently touched our thin champagne flutes together and smiled at each other in the soft light from the fireplace. Eirik had just been elected second in command in his party and the demands of a political career at that level were beginning to show. But I remember how close I felt to my husband that evening, how I noticed the new sprinkles of gray in his hair and how it only made him more handsome.

At one point in the evening, I realized I’d left my phone upstairs in the hotel room and went to get it – I wanted to take a few pictures of Eirik and me. I bumped into Leah in the corridor leading to our room and at first I couldn’t instantly place her – this happens to me often when I see a client out of context. Then I matched the woman in front of me with the pretty Swedish writer I see every Friday at two. I smiled at her as she came toward me and as always, allowed the client to decide whether or not to acknowledge me. Leah looked shocked to see me there, but smiled shyly and whispered, ‘Hi’, and then she disappeared around the corner. I didn’t give the episode another thought. I would have just assumed that she was there for the weekend like us; there wasn’t anything particularly strange about that – Dr Holm’s is a very popular weekend destination for the Oslo West crowds.

Thinking back, I realize she must have followed us there. That whole weekend, she must have lurked in the shadows, watching.

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Supernova