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Back Cabin Fever Save as PDF
Chapters (92)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Alex Dahl
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Contents
  7. Epigraph
  8. Prologue
  9. Part I
  10. 1
  11. 2
  12. 3
  13. 4
  14. 5
  15. 6
  16. 7
  17. 8
  18. 9
  19. 10
  20. 11
  21. 12
  22. 13
  23. 14
  24. 15
  25. 16
  26. 17
  27. 18
  28. 19
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. 23
  33. 24
  34. 25
  35. 26
  36. 27
  37. 28
  38. 29
  39. 30
  40. 31
  41. 32
  42. 33
  43. 34
  44. 35
  45. 36
  46. 37
  47. 38
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. Part II
  55. 45
  56. 46
  57. 47
  58. 48
  59. 49
  60. 50
  61. 51
  62. 52
  63. 53
  64. 54
  65. 55
  66. 56
  67. 57
  68. 58
  69. 59
  70. 60
  71. Part III
  72. 61
  73. 62
  74. 63
  75. 64
  76. 65
  77. 66
  78. 67
  79. 68
  80. 69
  81. 70
  82. 71
  83. 72
  84. 73
  85. 74
  86. 75
  87. 76
  88. Epilogue
  89. Five months later
  90. Acknowledgements
  91. About the Author
  92. An Invitation from the Publisher

He’s the type that does what he wants and takes what he can, and you know it. We’re alike in that way, you and me – successful and beautiful and accomplished by most people’s standards, but fundamentally always at the mercy of some man who loves himself more than he could ever love someone else. Maybe you should ask yourself how far he’d go for you and whether he really matches your devotion. You’ve said it to me before and it always felt like a sucker punch in the gut, so now I’ll say it to you – do you think, perhaps, that you deserve better?

For what it’s worth, I think you deserve everything.

But this wasn’t about him, at least not to begin with. It was all about you. I got close to him because I wanted to get close to you, or as close as I could to actually being you. I laughed with your mother. I spent time with your best friend, and gained her trust so much that she finally felt able to release what she’d kept for herself for so long. You may not believe me when I say that with Eirik, my intentions were entirely innocent. I wanted to know if he deserved you. He doesn’t.

You remind me of someone, he said that first night I approached him at the bar, wanting to gauge how easily he could be led astray. Easily, is your answer. The someone, of course, was you. The thing I didn’t factor in, Kristina, is that he reminded me of someone, too. It has taken me a while to figure out who it was, and I’m sure you will use all your impressive psychology credentials to arrive at the same conclusion. This is my excuse; I don’t have a better one. I just didn’t see it coming, that I’d love him. Or that my attention would be wrenched from you to him. I didn’t mean to create a situation that will no doubt bring you deep hurt. I believed him when he said that he’d never loved anyone like he loved me. He knew what to say to the fatherless little girl who lives inside of me, the girl who just wants to be taken care of. He made me feel taken care of. I believed him when he said he would leave you, and for a while, I saw myself stepping into your shoes, living your life, for real. I talked myself out of my persistent feelings of guilt by thinking that if that was truly how he felt about me, then you’d be better off without him. I suppose I felt that he and I deserved each other and that neither of us deserved you. Still, I felt bad, terrible, doing what I did, and I have no other excuse than that I love him, even now.

72

Kristina