Frae Daddie Auld.

What tho at times, when I grow crouse,

I gie their wames a random pouse,

Is that enough for you to souse

Your servant sae?

Gae mind your seam, ye prick

An jag-the-flae!

King David o poetic brief

Wrocht ’mang the lasses sic mischief

As fill’d his after-life wi grief,

An bluidy rants;

An yet he’s rank’d amang the chief

O lang-syne saunts.

And maybe, Tam, for a’ my cants,

My wicked rhymes, an drucken rants,

I’ll gie auld Cloven Clooty’s haunts

An unco slip yet,

An snugly sit amang the saunts,

At Davie’s hip yet!

But, fegs! the Session says I maun

Gae fa’ upo’ anither plan

Than garrin lasses coup the cran,

Clean heels owre body,

An sairly thole their mother’s ban

Afore the howdy.

This leads me on to tell for sport

How I did wi’ the Session sort:

Auld Clinkum at the inner port,

Cried three times, ‘Robin!

Come hither lad, and answer fort,

Ye’re blam’d for jobbin!’

Wi’ pinch I put a Sunday’s face on,

An snoov’d awa before the Session

I made an open, fair confession,

I scorned to lie,

An syne Mess John, beyond expression,

Fell foul o me.

A fornicator-loun he call’d me,

An said my faut frae bliss expell’d me.

I own’d the tale was true he tell’d me,

‘But, what the matter?’

(Quo’ I) ‘I fear unless ye geld me,

I’ll ne’er be better!’

‘Geld you!’ (quo’ he) ‘an what for no?

If that your right hand, leg, or toe

Should ever prove your sp’ritual foe,

You should remember

To cut it aff – an what for no

Your dearest member!’

‘Na, na,’ (quo’ I) ‘I’m no for that,

Gelding’s nae better than ’tis ca’t;

I’d rather suffer for my faut,

A hearty flewit.

As sair owre hip as ye can drawt,

Tho I should rue it.

‘Or, gin ye like to end the bother,

To please us a’, I’ve just ae ither:

When next wi yon lass I forgather,

Whate’er betide it,

I’ll frankly gie her’ta’ thegither,

An let her guide it.’

But, Sir, this pleas’d them warst of a’,

An therefore, Tam, when that I saw,

I said ‘Guid night,’ an came awa,

An left the Session;

I saw they were resolved a’

On my oppression.

SELECT SCOTS GLOSSARY

abeigh aside

aiblins perhaps

aidle ditch-water

airns (iron) fetters

airt direction

asklent askew

atweel certainly

awa away

batts colic

bauld bold

bedeen quickly

beese vermin

beets kindle

belyve swiftly

ben through

big build

birk birch

birkie lively fellow

birses bristles

blast blow

blate shy

blather bladder

blink glance

boddle penny coin

bore crevice

boudrons cat

bouk body

bouse booze

braw handsome

breeks trousers

brent smooth

broose wedding race

brunstane brimstone

Buirdly stately

bum-clock a kind of beetle

bure bore

but an ben kitchen and parlour roomed cottage

byke swarm

cadger hawker

caff chaff

caird tinker

caition surety

caller fresh

callet wench

cantraip magic

cantrip lively

canty cheerful

carlin old person

caups wooden bowl

claes clothes

claught clutch