It’s quickly apparent that working with Shelby is still easy as pie. She’s got the kind of down-to-earth charm that will make people from all walks of life happily fall in love with her. The girl next door you watched grow up on TV. The one you can never forget.

I knew this already. It’s what I’ve been craving and avoiding in equal measure. But there’s one part I hadn’t counted on, especially after the mess from the other night. We’ve always been one step forward and three skips backward, but this time, while everyone is busy falling in love with her, she’s got her starry blue eyes on me. It’s the same look on her face when I make a joke as the one she wore the night I drove us to a blanket in the middle of an empty field for our first—and last—time together. The same as when I flew down from Alaska to land on her doorstep when she asked. And when I told her I would do the more difficult renovation.

It means something hopeful, that look. And, I think, it means something more that she’s letting me see it now.

I don’t understand. I was so nervous heading into this morning. I fucked up and we fought. She should hate me. Just like before.

Except, before, I hadn’t stuck around for the aftermath. I don’t actually know what her reaction was to my absence.

It’s fucking with my head. What if all this time, I’ve been beating myself up for leaving, assuming I’d broken her heart, and she’s been fine? Maybe she didn’t care as much as I thought? As much as I did? Do?

Shelby glances over from where she’s waiting to get started, a shy smile on her face.

And it hits me.

I have to know.

While the camera crew is working with Steve on lighting, I pull Shelby into the backyard. There’s an old concrete slab for a porch that I mentally add to my list of fixes. This view is screaming for a proper deck. Ten to one Daniel already has it budgeted.

Shelby tucks her hair behind her ear, her expression open. “Everything okay?”

I shake my head, glancing nervously at the sliding door. I don’t want anyone to notice us out here. “Not really, no. I mean.” I take a deep breath and start over. “Yeah, everything seems great. Perfect, even. Which, I fucked up, Shelby. The other night. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

She holds up a hand. “Me, too. I was, well, pretty humiliated, to be honest. I know you didn’t ditch me for college, Cam, and I promise I’m not mad about that.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”