BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (32)
  1. Copyright Notice
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. EPILOGUE
  29. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  30. Also by Erin Hahn
  31. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  32. Newsletter Sign-up

Comments (1,804)

Margie_78: who cares Springfield is a whore

Lester-the-collector: Once again the fake news media is more concerned with the activities of cokehead celebrities … (329 replies)

SuperChick: Dude. Lester. You’re reading an online gossip rag.

The Lorelai Jones: Damn right they sang Jessup’s weak ass lie of a song and they sang it BETTER

QuirkyLibrarian: I’ve always liked Shelby Springfield. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Ginnifur01: Marcella Jessup is way hotter than Shelby. Lyle leveled up.

(reply to Ginnifur01) IheartCameronRiggs: Actually, Cameron Riggs is hotter than Lyle Jessup. Have you seen his thighs?

(reply to IheartCameronRiggs) IheartShelbySpringfield: Like tree trunks, one might say.

JunkInDaTrunk: Lyle Jessup eats ass. I hated that Beauty and the Barber show he did.

The_Local_Idiot: I was in rehab with Shelby Springfield. Girl was a mess. Gave good head tho.

MYHEARTWILLGOON: I used to love The World According to Jackson! Watched it with my grandpa before he died. So many good memories. I really hope Shelby’s okay.

TwerkIt: I did an acoustic cover of “You Chose Wrong” and would really appreciate it if you could head on over to my YouTube channel and check it out!

21

SHELBY

INVISIBLE STRING

I should be angry. Throwing a fit, punching walls, screaming into the void, and drinking myself under the table. No one would blame me. At least no one who knows me. By the time I woke up this morning, the Hollywood Hotwire article had been picked up by a zillion other outlets, each one more nefarious and far-reaching than the last. Even if I had a real publicist to navigate such things (which I don’t anymore), it would have been too late to make a dent.

So, I got up and went to work. In my shop. Because even if I’m not angry, I am hurt, and I need twenty-four hours to cry it out by myself before I turn up on camera. I’m lucky I have that option. After calling to check in this morning, Cameron had to report to the Caroline Street house to meet with the bath fitters. In an effort to apologize for the grief and aggravation I’ve caused by being named Shelby mother-effing Springfield, I sent the entire crew lunch via Lorelai. She called me on her way home, pleased to report everyone seemed offended on our behalf, to the extent that the camera crew left early, and when Lyle called to smooth things over with Cameron, he apparently cut him off saying, “Not fucking today, Lyle,” to thunderous applause.

It’s a small and short-lived victory, but it feels good to know our crew believes in us. That’s the thing about Midwesterners. We’re a polite and generally pleasing people, but fuck with one of us, and we’ll take that offense to the grave, then cremate it and sprinkle it in your coffee with maple syrup.