Lorelai steals a fry from my plate, and I remember I need to eat. Cameron excuses himself to the restroom, and I eat in silence as Lyle signs autographs and takes selfies with a bachelorette party that’s just arrived. When Cameron comes back, he looks normal, but the air between us feels … charged.

I pass Lorelai my plate and grab Cameron’s hand, jumping off the stool. Lyle is still busy, so I lead Cameron out back onto a quiet deck area. It’s still too cold for outdoor dining, so it’s empty out here. Without my jacket, a small shiver goes through me, so I move us out of the wind. A sconce light flicks on as a space heater flares to life. Cameron waves over my shoulder at Kevin in the window, and I sigh at the warmth.

“It’s okay,” he says before I open my mouth. “I won’t tell him, but I’m pretty sure he knows we were something, Shelby, and he’s super hung up on it.”

“Lyle thought he was the first,” I say in a rush.

Cameron freezes. “The first?”

“Right,” I say, my words infused with meaning. “The first. He thought I was a virgin when we dated.”

In the barely-there light, I see Cameron’s jaw clench. He scratches at the beard there, absently. My fingers itch to smooth it. “And you don’t want him to know you weren’t?”

I shake my head. “No, that’s not—I don’t care. This isn’t, like, some kind of messy misogynistic thing, and I didn’t lie to him. He assumed, and I never denied it.”

“Because you were embarrassed?” he guesses, sounding deflated.

“What? No!” I say, quick to correct him. “Never,” I promise. “Jesus, Cam, you were the best thing to ever happen to me! You were my best friend.”

“So”—he shakes his head—“I’m confused. Why don’t you just tell him then? At least the timing of it so he stops trying to accuse you of something.”

I slump against the wall, and Cameron leans next to me, his hands in his pockets. “I just don’t want anyone to know. Like, my entire childhood and teens and even my early twenties were an open book. Between my mom and Lyle, everyone exploited everything about me. It was gross how many people were obsessed with my virginity back then. What happened between us was this incredible secret that felt like a piece of the real me, you know? I gave Lyle too much. I don’t want to give him this, too. It needs to stay between us.”

Cameron runs a hand through his hair and rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah … okay. I’ve never told anyone. Well, I told Kevin. But that was back in college and he won’t tell anyone. Especially not Lyle.”