I’ve done some thinking though, ever since Marcella teetered in this afternoon, her perfect manicure feeling up my arms in front of her husband and my boss. This is a home-improvement show on a family network. Sure, they’ll show what they can of our lives outside the Caroline Street house, but they’re ultimately limited by time constraints. My years at National Geographic have taught me that much.

They get maybe minutes of airtime to spend on this bar. Editing can be a shady occupation, so my plan is to give them only the best kind of footage to pull from. This is why I’m here, after all. Shelby brings the skill. I bring the charisma.

And if that means I have to sing every single song from my teenybopper repertoire and consequently face down shit from Kevin for the rest of my life, so be it. We need this pilot.

However, I hadn’t counted on the power-couple Jessup and just how cruel they could be. I’ve been out of the industry too long. I knew Lyle wasn’t here to make friends, but he’s generally looking for whatever angle puts him in the most optimal light. I don’t know a whole lot about Marcella, but I imagine like attracts like.

Marcella, in her painted-on thousand-dollar jeans and fake smile, downs her cosmopolitan, passing the glass to Lyle, and grabs Shelby’s hand, dragging her to the tiny stage. “My turn! And I want my bestie up here with me! Ladies and gentlemen! Your favorite party girl and mine, Shelby Springfield!” Within seconds, the screen behind Marcella glows with the lyrics to a song titled “You Chose Wrong” by, shocker, Lyle Jessup.

Lyle glows in the camera light, and he pulls a face like “Oh, you girls!” and that right then and there is when I know this shit was planned.

Next to me, Lorelai hisses like a wildcat. Shelby squeaks, and all the color drains from her face, but in a flash, she’s composed. Because the cameras are rolling. What else can she do?

“Isn’t this—” I start.

Lorelai scowls. “Yup.”

My teeth clench together, but I wipe my face clear of any expression. To the casual observer, I’m indifferent; I’ve never heard this song and I don’t know what it’s about. Because what the fuck else can we do?

Shelby spins onstage, her dress flaring around her toned thighs. As angry as I am at the situation, I still have the presence of mind to notice again just how delectable she looks.

She beams, waving and brilliant. Marcella tries to hug her, and Shelby allows her a side embrace as Kevin passes her the mic. She’s straight-up grace and a good time.