I see some of the other girls exchange glances. When you’re part of a group—especially a hugely successful one like Girls Forever—the words solo album are loaded. While one of us might occasionally sing a solo song for a movie’s original soundtrack, idols rarely do entire albums on their own when they’re still part of the group. That’s usually reserved for when you launch a solo career. And when one person breaks away, it’s often like pulling out a Jenga block. That one missing piece can send the whole tower crashing down.

“Oh, I’m not looking to do a solo album or anything,” I say, staring hard at my own reflection in Mina’s dark sunglasses. I need her to know I’m being honest. And I need her to stop making trouble where there is none. “Those lyrics were just for fun. A creative outlet. Like Youngeun’s baking,” I say, even though so far “fun” would be a strong word to describe the experience. More like slightly better than going to the dentist. It’s more about making sure I practice and try to get good at the writing piece of it.

“Mmm, Youngeun, can you make some of your creative outlets when we get home?” Jiyoon asks. “I’m dying for more of your chocolate croissants.”

“Actually, I think one day I’d like to go abroad to study fashion,” I say softly, surprising myself. “And maybe even design my own line someday.”

I seriously don’t know where that idea just came from… or if anyone’s even listening anymore. They seem to have moved on to debating whether Youngeun’s chocolate croissants are better than her vanilla cream–stuffed donuts, but even so, I can’t stop myself from saying it out loud for the first time.

Maybe it’s not such an outlandish idea. Every time I open my blue notebook to try to write some song lyrics, I flip past all the outfit sketches I used to draw. I used to love sketching, but somewhere along the path to becoming a K-pop star, that hobby fell away. And between how excited I got when I thought there was a possibility of doing something with Vogue, and how excited I get every time I think about my upcoming trip to Paris, maybe this—fashion—could be my thing. But just because fans like my airport style, or one designer gave me love on Instagram, that doesn’t necessarily mean I have the chops to try it for real someday.

“You would be great at that, Rachel,” Sunhee says, giving me an encouraging smile.

“I can totally see you in London somewhere, studying fashion,” Jiyoon adds.

My heart glows. So they did hear me—and they think I would be good. “Really?”