He hesitated for a moment and then stood up, taking her by the hand. She did not object when he led her into the bedroom and set her down on his bed. He lay down beside her, stroking her hair and her face, kissing her gently on the forehead where the scar still formed an ugly line. She reached for him and buried her face against him, giving no sign of resistance when he began to kiss her more fervently, following his lead as passion took over from sympathy. Slowly, he took her clothes off and she lifted herself up and pulled him into her body. As he placed his hands beneath her, he heard her murmuring to herself, over and over.

‘I want you back, I want you back. Oh please, please come back. Come. Come in me, now.’

He knew that her words were not for him, but he did not care. She was his now and he lay awake beside her, to watch over her as she slept.

Chapter 27

Kenya, January 1966

Anthony dialled the operator, holding Sarah’s hand as she was connected to her parents in Sligo. Their shocked voices and loving condolences did nothing to lessen her grief. They listened in disbelieving silence to the bare outline of the story, unable fully to comprehend what had happened to Piet. Raphael felt chiefly gratitude. His daughter had been spared. She was alive, unharmed, and her safety was the only thing that was truly important to him. It was not until afterwards that he thought about the torment of the van der Beers. For Sarah, the act of telling reduced her to broken, incoherent sentences. Several times she gave the receiver to Anthony, and attempted to regain control of her voice before beginning again. She tried to explain how it was unthinkable that Hannah should be left alone now. Only their shared loss could help them to find the courage to go on. Raphael and Betty could not mask their worry. There had been no arrest, and whatever had inspired Piet’s killing could be repeated. Langani was not safe. They feared for their daughter’s life. But Sarah was adamant, pleading for them to accept her decision, and they were powerless to make her change her mind. When Tim came on the line, pressing her to return to Ireland, she said goodbye and returned to the nightmare in which she was trapped.

The telephone rang incessantly. Neighbours and friends began to arrive and the house filled up with people. There were things to be done, food and drinks to be organised. It was dusk when Lottie decided that she would leave for Nairobi and fly south the next day, to face her husband and give him what support she could. Hannah sat in wordless misery, refusing to acknowledge her mother’s silent appeal for understanding, unable to accept her father’s greater need.