Jeanette interpreted this to mean that he felt the same eagerness she did. During this difficult time, she had been worrying, among so many other things, that he would delay the whole thing. That he would extend the waiting period by several weeks—maybe even months—just to be on the safe side. And that in the meantime, interest on his part would cool off. That she would eventually give up before they had a chance to talk.

When she had received the message, there had been four days left till the meeting. Four never-endingly long days going through the now-familiar torments: sleeplessness and feeling like she was sleepwalking, shame, guilt, anaemia, nervousness, lost appetite, and basically the loss of her will to live. However, the assurance that Peter would be taking care of her in just a few days’ time had helped her to get back on an even keel—it was a light in the pitch darkness. The assurance that he would touch her.

And now she was standing here, unaffected by the grim environment around her, the awful weather, and the cold wind. Nothing could possibly be worse than what she had experienced in the last few weeks, and the memories of them had been compartmentalised into some hidden corner of her consciousness. The beginning of what was to come next awaited, and that meant everything to her.

At a quarter past—hadn’t he said four o’clock?—Jeanette did a lap of the large, half-empty car park. Maybe he was somewhere she couldn’t see him? No.

He must have run into something—maybe they needed him at work a little longer. But she could wait; she didn’t have anything better to be doing. It was half past four—was he waiting for her out on the road, even though he had expressly said the car park? Not there either, she noted, before returning to the car park. Had he gone inside to get warm? No, and the car was definitely not in the car park, so he wasn’t here. Unless he had changed cars, that was. But that seemed unlikely, because he could hardly have left his job since she last saw him. The car might have broken down, of course, meaning that he’d come in a borrowed or rented car—but that would be even greater cause to show himself to her.

Bilprovningen! It hit her. He had written Bilcity, but had obviously meant Bilprovningen next door. But he wasn’t there either, and it was now five o’clock. If he had written four but had meant five, then it was probable that he would turn up eventually.

She hurried back to the agreed meeting place outside the car dealership, pacing back and forth before doing the last hour all over again. Without success: he was nowhere to be seen. There was no word from him on her mobile either.