Lubbi screwed his eyes shut and looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up. But he didn’t let go of her hand, so she was still able to cling on to it tightly.

“The forty-one-year-old,” Kat said triumphantly. “Don’t you remember? He was in all the papers.”

“Do you know what, Kat?” said Lubbi. “Jen knew him, so she probably won’t be thrilled to hear this coming from you like that.”

“Well, sorry,” said Kat with a shrug of her shoulders. “But it’s in the paper, you know. So it’s not like I came up with it all by myself or anything.”

Then she got up and slouched away with a slight look of being wronged. Her seat was taken by Nanna, who had appeared from nowhere behind the bench. Lubbi pulled Jeanette close and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. Without really being able to explain it, tears welled up in her eyes.

“Sorry, Jen,” he said. “I should have told you, one way or another. I didn’t put two and two together with it and that story of yours. Until it was, you know, too late. Sorry.”

Jeanette said nothing, absorbed in her own confused thoughts with her head against Lubbi’s shoulder. She was unable to make head or tail of any of it. She had no idea how she was supposed to react to this news. How it affected her—did it even affect her at all?

“Did you hear that, Nanna?” Lubbi asked shamefacedly.

“Yes, I heard,” Nanna confirmed, and gently stroked Jeanette’s cheek.

“What an idiot I am,” Lubbi said with a sigh.

“There’s no need to drown our sorrows in advance,” Nanna suggested. “Let’s agree to postpone our grief until we know there’s something to grieve about.”

That sounded more or less doable, and the respite gave Jeanette a few days to prepare herself for the worst. Even if she did so with sinking hopes and a growing sense of panic.

40. Sandra

40

Sandra

IT WAS THE morning of Midsummer’s Eve, and ahead of the day’s festivities they had spent the night at her parents’. Erik and his grandparents were already well under way with preparations ahead of the invasion of guests, while Sandra was still sitting outside enjoying her breakfast and the chance to read the newspaper from cover to cover without any interruptions.