My expectations are in an elevator that crashed through the floor and is now taking the direct route to hell.

I go into every relationship with people who identify as male assuming they’re either a liar, a cheater, an asshole, or the grand trifecta of all of the above. Jasper seems nice enough, but who’s to say this isn’t one big act to see what will work for his next novel. I can see it now: famous romance author, moving from city to city, leaving a trail of broken hearts in his path. Hundreds of women all over the country, weeping into their morning coffee after a night spent dreaming about his gorgeous eyes and deep voice telling them how special they are.

What a scumbag.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I realize I’m glaring at him as I try to school my expression. I tend to wear all my thoughts on my face, and that is not always a good thing.

Actually, it’s almost never a good thing. Resting bitch face has put me in some very tenuous situations over the years.

“Yeah, totally.” I paste a smile onto my face, trying to think of anything to talk about that won’t make me sound like a raving lunatic. “I’m just surprised you’d think anyone would say no to dinner with you.”

The concerned look on his face is replaced by a gentle smile. Flattery easily erases any doubts he may have had. Not to pat myself on the back, but that was some A-plus deflection if I may say so myself.

“I think that most of my readers would like to come to dinner with me. I’m sure they’d like to ask me questions about my past work and what I have planned for the future. A few would undoubtedly ask if I’d be interested in writing their life story for them.” He pauses and takes a small sip of water from the glass Janet filled up for him when I was first seated.

I take advantage of the pause in his story because he has officially piqued my interest. “Okay. Now I have a question.”

“Shoot.” He leans forward and aims a finger gun my way, losing approximately one thousand points on the cool scale.

“People ask you if you’re interested in writing their life story? As in this has happened to you more than once by more than one person?” It’s not that I think he’s full of shit as much as I can’t believe that multiple people think so highly of themselves that they would ask a famous author this question.