I stare at him, silently turning over his question in my mind. What’s holding me back now? Has he not been paying attention?

“I still have the Book Nook.” I answer with the obvious. “The numbers are really starting to grow. I feel like I’m finally hitting my groove and taking the store in a direction Gran would be really pleased with.”

“Okay, I understand that.” His voice is low and gentle, like he’s talking to a small child and not the woman he whispered very, very dirty things to this morning. “But there’s been changes now and maybe you can start thinking of ways to get back to your life from before. You should see the way you light up when your camera is back in your hands, the way your shoulders relax every time we drive out of the city limits. You can still end your lease and travel. Can you imagine the adventures we could go on together?”

I know he means well and that he’s saying these things from a place of good intentions, but for some reason it really pisses me off. It’s nice remembering what life was like before Gran passed, but the reason I don’t do it is because I didn’t think anyone would understand. Jasper saying this proves that I was right.

“I don’t think you get it.” And how could he? I don’t think anyone who isn’t in my shoes could know what I’m going through. “Of course I still love to take pictures and get out into the open, but you’re wrong. There haven’t been any changes. She’s still gone and the Book Nook is still all I have of her. That will never change.”

His back straightens with the shift in my tone. I don’t mean to sound so short, but I couldn’t help it even if I tried.

And I’m not trying.

“I do understand that,” he says. Clearly not understanding. “But now you know that she was considering selling the store, so maybe you can consider it too. I’m sure she would—”

“You’re sure she would do what, Jasper? You never even met her.” I stop myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath when I realize I’m beginning to raise my voice. “You don’t know her,” I repeat, but softer this time. “You weren’t there to see the years and years she invested in the Book Nook.”

“You’re right, I wasn’t there, but from all of the stories you’ve told me about her, I do know one thing.”

“What do you know?” I don’t really care what he thinks he knows. I just want him to hurry up and say what’s on his mind so he can drop this and I can go back to enjoying his company.