There’s a shift in her voice that I don’t think Jasper can pick up on, but as her best friend, I absolutely do. And I don’t know if I want to yell at her or hug her for asking the question I’ve been too afraid to bring up.

I know it’s something we should’ve talked about before—or definitely after—the whole boyfriend/girlfriend discussion, but I just started processing one thing in my life; I couldn’t add another. Thankfully, one of my strong points in life is avoidance, so I’ve been pretending not to think about it while I deal with the Book Nook and trying to figure out what Gran really wanted when she left the store to me.

“I’m not sure.” There’s an unfamiliar thread of unease in Jasper’s normally confident voice.

My heart stutters in my chest as fear and hurt begin to register with his words. I know this is a conversation we can’t avoid forever, but I also know having it at the dinner table with my best friend and her husband is not the place I want my fragile little heart broken.

“No need to make a decision right now.” My hands ball into fists beneath the table and I try to focus on the pinch of my fingernails instead of the conversation at hand. “You still have a while until your book deadline.”

“I’m actually ahead of schedule for once.” Jasper’s fingers flex against my shoulder, and for the first time, his touch makes me nervous. “I should be finished in a couple of weeks.”

“Oh. Wow!” The saccharine excitement in my voice tastes like a grape Popsicle leaving my mouth. “Congratulations, that’s great.”

I wait for Elsie to speak up and take over the conversation like she usually does, but she’s chosen this moment to be quiet.

And now I definitely want to yell at her.

“Yeah, it is.” Jasper sounds even more hesitant this time. “I was going to tell you later, but—”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” I cut him off, not needing an audience for what’s coming after that but. “I’m happy for you. Really. I’m sure you’re getting restless here, ready to move again.”

“Actually—” He tries to talk again, not getting the hint that I want to wait to talk about this later.

And by later, I mean never.

“I get it.” I cut him off again before grabbing my drink off the table to drain the remaining gin at the bottom of the glass. “It’s fine—ow!”

Pain explodes up the front of my shin. I look beneath the table and move my leg just in time to avoid getting struck by Elsie’s pointy-toed stiletto for the second time.

“Did you just kick me?” I glare across the table at my best friend, who’s glaring right back.