Because if I did hate him, if I were repelled by him, I would still do what I had to do, and I would hate myself a little less for it. But as it stood now, as I felt now, I knew I had to be some sort of monster to be able to feel attraction for my captor. To come under his tongue. To want it again.

I’d lied when I’d said what I’d said to him about it being physical. It wasn’t physical, not for me. It never could be.

He’d said he had two weeks to train me. To ready me for the auction. Well, I had two weeks, then. Two weeks to get under his skin, to burrow so deep he couldn’t let me go. He’d have no choice but to keep me. Perhaps even to help me.

No, that I could not expect. I would kill him as soon as I could. It would be good training for when the time came to kill Victor. Because killing was new to me. I may have been born into a family of foot soldiers, men who’d worked for various crime families for generations, but I’d never even touched a gun, never felt the weight of one in my hands. I would learn, though. Maybe I’d even learn how to wield an ax when it came time to take Victor down.

I let hate fuel me while I gathered my courage and pushed the blanket off. I walked into the bathroom and, with my hands bound, switched on the shower. I didn’t wait for the water to warm. Instead, I stepped into the tub and stood beneath a spray of icy water, not thinking about the dirt at my feet, the filth around me. I washed away my fear and willed myself to think of Mateo, of his strength right up until the end. I exchanged fear for strength and let the water wash away any weakness inside me. When I was finished, I returned to my room and waited there, ready for Death to come.

But he didn’t come back. Not for the space of six meals.

A few hours later—I wasn’t sure if it was hours, as time seemed to crawl by, so it could have been an hour or a day—when the door opened again, it wasn’t Death who entered.

All my resolve, all the courage I’d thought I’d gathered, all the strength and drive I had built up, dissolved when that door opened and another man entered.