The pre-op prep took place in a small clinic room. Grace was politely asked to undress, naked to the waist for the benefit of her consultant, anaesthesiologist, junior doctor, registrar and nurse. Only the nurse was female. She stood silently trying to steady her shaking knees while men measured and marked her breasts for removal and replacement. They discussed natural ptosis and alignment, and when they’d agreed on the right measurements, they were written in marker on her breasts. They agreed that they had good shape and volume to work with.

When they were done, Grace’s consultant smiled at her. ‘Don’t worry, Grace, we’ll have you sitting pretty.’ She tried to speak but instead she just gurgled something that sounded like ‘manks’. Rabbit would have made a joke, or maybe she’d have engaged with them on the matter of medicine; she would have been present, they would have been accountable to her. Grace might as well have been a piece of hanging meat. She couldn’t connect; she was half naked and four men were colluding to lob her boobs off, so it wasn’t the ideal setting to form new friendships.

The nurse, Lisa, was cool, calm and had a warm smile. She helped Grace dress herself and talked about the weather. ‘Not too cold, although they said we should prepare for rain, as if that’s something new.’

‘No, not too cold.’

‘Looking forward to the summer?’

‘No, not really.’

Lisa sat Grace down. ‘It’s not going to be easy, but you’ll get through it and you will be happy. OK?’

Grace nodded and cried a little.

‘Time to go,’ Lisa said, and Grace willed herself to stand. Her legs refused to cooperate.

‘You wouldn’t mind asking my husband to step in, would you?’ Grace said.

‘No problem,’ Lisa said, and she was gone and back with Lenny within a minute. He used a similar hauling technique he’d employed at the car and she was up and out and skidding down the corridor on the backs of her heels. Oh God, what am I doing?

In the waiting area there was a moment when she was gowned up and looking around at men and women of all ages, sitting in chairs, signing forms, and she realised she was the only one in a gown. Why? What are they here for? Why am I the only one with marker on my tits and my bum exposed? She was wearing a light blue towelling dressing gown. The hospital was warm but she felt ice-cold. Lenny stood leaning against a wall while she sat on a padded chair. She wanted the loo.

‘I need the loo. Where are my slippers?’ she asked, realising her feet were bare.