‘Her mammy’s all for it, thinks it’s a great idea. Poor Lenny’s been told what to think as far as I can see, but me, I can’t believe she’d mutilate herself like that, after everything she saw Rabbit go through, after everything we’ve been through. It’s not right,’ he said, and he felt tearful but he didn’t cry.

Sean sat back in his chair. ‘Maybe she’s doing it because of what Rabbit went through, because of what you all went through.’

‘That’s what Molly says, but Rabbit had cancer. Grace does not.’

‘Did I ever tell ya my auld fella had COPD?’

‘No.’

‘He had it and it killed him. I smoked when I knew I shouldn’t. I smoked long after I was diagnosed. Don’t know why. I took my chances, I suppose.’

‘Giving up cigarettes and disfiguring yourself is not the same thing.’

‘Knowing what I know now, if someone came up to me and whispered in my ear, you have even a fifty per cent chance of getting COPD, not only would I stop smoking I’d cut out me lungs if they told me it would help.’

‘That would kill ya,’ Jack mumbled.

‘You know what I’m trying to say.’

‘I do.’

Flo arrived in with tea and buttered barmbrack. ‘There you go, fellas, I’ll leave you to it.’ She left and Jack handed Sean his tea and held up the plate of barmbrack.

‘No thanks,’ he said.

Jack hugged his mug of tea. ‘People die during operations or anaesthesia every day,’ he said. ‘Then there’s the complications. Rabbit had terrible complications, and nothing to do with the cancer.’

‘Do you want my advice?’ Sean asked.

‘Will I like it?’

‘No.’

‘Go on, then.’

‘Just be there for her.’

‘How can I? I can’t even look at her.’

‘There’s nothing I can do to help you with that,’ Sean said.

‘No,’ Jack said. ‘I suppose you can’t, and there’s something else – I think my marriage is in deep trouble.’

‘Ah no. You and Molly, you’re survivors.’

‘We don’t talk anymore. We shout but we never talk.’

‘It’s the grief, it has you upended,’ Sean said. ‘You’ll find your way back.’

‘Will I?’ he mumbled.

Jack left his friend’s house soon after that and drove around until he ran out of petrol. He parked up on the side of the road, asked a local where the nearest garage was and then he took himself off for a little walk.

Chapter Forty-Five: Molly

Chapter Forty-Five

Molly

MOLLY SPENT THE AFTERNOON with her granddaughter. She’d asked her what she’d like to do and Juliet wanted to see her old house. So Molly grabbed the keys of her car.

‘Let’s go. You know other people live there now?’

‘I do.’

‘So we’ll just sit outside?’

‘That’s good enough.’