I walked into the house at half past two. Mom was at the day job, so it was just me and Mormor and would be until five thirty. Mormor had a thing about stuff that wasn’t food on the kitchen table, so I swung my backpack onto the floor of the coatroom and kicked off my lace-up boots. Mormor stood by the sink, pulling the green hats off strawberries, with her back turned to me. She never looked my way.

When she’d said she wouldn’t talk to me again until I told her what I was going to do with the baby, she meant it. She hadn’t said a single word in days. On one hand, it was obnoxious and irritating and I recognized it for the emotional blackmail it was. On the other hand, if I was being perfectly honest, I didn’t actually care. Mormor was famous for this kind of stuff, and if she wanted to tantrum, so be it.

Who am I to tell a sixty-something-year-old woman that she’s acting like a turdsicle? At least she wasn’t throwing shoes at me.

“It was a good first day,” I said, making my way over to the fridge. I swiped a yogurt and some orange juice and a cheese stick for a snack. My lunch offerings to the womb overlord were apparently no longer sufficient because my lower quarters were gurgling like a backed-up garbage disposal. “I like my teachers. Met some cool new kids, too. One of them’s Romani. His name is Leaf. I also met these two girls, Morgan and Erin, and I like them, too.”

Silence.

“I ate with them and they were super nice. Leaf made sure I got to all my classes on time.”

She rinsed the strawberries in the sink.

“Well, I’m gonna go upstairs now. Listen to some music backward and make an offering to my dark lord, then maybe ask Devi to come over so we can be lesbian witches together. Good talk, Mormor.”

She made a strangled sound, almost like a cat with its tail caught in the door, but still she refused to speak. The fact that I nearly incited her to use her words was a victory in my book, and I climbed the stairs to my room, gnawing on cheese before my door was even closed. I texted Devi with a simple, Come over?

A minute later came, On my way. Chzbrgr?

Yas.

She was a good wifey.

I sprawled out on my bed, putting Pandora on mostly so I could drown out the sound of Mormor smashing things around in the kitchen in her frustration. I heard Devi arrive, heard Mormor greet her with a “How have you been, Devorah?” because Devi wasn’t in the doghouse, followed immediately by “McDonald’s isn’t food, you realize.”