“Valid.” Devi drained her chai and slid in beside me on her giant bed, her arms and yards upon yards of legs wrapping around me. She nuzzled at my hair and I settled into the hug. She was the one thing, possibly the only thing, I’d miss about my hometown, but like she’d pointed out, I was only ten minutes away in the opposite direction. I wouldn’t see her during the school day, but we didn’t have all our classes together, anyway.

I’d be losing a Devi lunch, but gaining an Aaron-free life.

“I’m gonna miss you, wifey,” I said. “You’re about all, though. I think I’m ready to get out of Dodge.”

“I’ll miss you, too, but you’re right. Take out the trash. Aaron’s part of that trash. You got this, girl.”

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Devi didn’t bring the clinic up again after that and, honestly, I didn’t kill myself to get there, either. I kept making excuses for reasons not to go, and eventually, I just told myself I was too busy and a symptom would have shown up already if I’d caught something so I must be fine. Instead, I focused on getting through school, acing my finals, getting phone numbers from classmates I wanted to stay in touch with—which was a lot fewer than I’d expected—and helping Mom pack. Devi left, but she texted me daily and sometimes at night we’d Skype, save for Friday night and into Saturday because she was observing Shabbos with her grandparents.

It was a whirlwind—often a lonely whirlwind—but the busyness helped with that. Aaron kept right on Aaroning at me, sending me check-in texts and Snaps that probably would have made his girlfriend’s hair fall out, but I never responded.

“Block his nuuuuumber,” Devi said to me on FaceTime. “Bloooock. Hiiiiim.”

“I will,” I promised.

But I never did. It was unhealthy, but those messages were a weird form of validation. He’d broken my heart. Knowing he struggled with it made my own suffering a little more palatable.

Bitchy, yes.

Regrets, no.