I actually giggled at that, despite the little clicks of the speculum as she opened me up and swabbed me out. Again, it wasn’t awful, just some pressure, an unfortunate draft where drafts ought not to be. She brought a bendy lamp in close so she could peer inside to make sure I wasn’t harboring a cave troll down there and, deeming me “pink and perfect,” pulled the speculum out. She adjusted the paper sheet for modesty and told me I could sit up.

“So I’m thinking we’ll get an ultrasound ASAP. The bleeding the first few months warrants a check, and you’re so close to twelve weeks, it’s okay to peek.”

I sat up on the table, glancing from the doctor over to my mother and back again. “Will we be figuring out if it’s a boy or a girl or—”

“Not yet. That’s usually closer to sixteen weeks, but I want to make sure there’s a heartbeat and check our development.”

The doctor washed her hands and moved over to the sink. I stared at her back, horrified at the idea of my kid not having a heartbeat. “So if it doesn’t...”

“We’ll worry about that if and when we get there,” Mom said. “Don’t borrow problems.”

That was a Mormor-ism if I’d ever heard one. It was also useless. I was already worrying, but saying so did nothing. Instead, I watched Dr. Cardiff sit back down at her computer. She glanced my way, offering me a bright smile.

“She’s right. There’s no reason to believe anything is wrong. Some women do bleed during part or all of their pregnancy. It’s not super common, but no reason to panic. I’m more interested in other aspects of development, plus I want to be sure there’s only one baby in there.”

Only one baby.

Oh, God. Multiple womb goblins! I hadn’t even thought of that.

I must have looked green, because Mom got up from the chair in the corner to come stand beside me. She leaned down to kiss my cheek, her smoke-stinky hair far too close to my nose to not make my stomach churn.

“We got this, kiddo. I promise. It’ll be okay. Don’t worry till it’s time to worry, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said, collapsing back onto the exam table like I was boneless. I stared at the perfectly square ceiling tiles with their potted lights, blinking fast so I didn’t cry.

Not worrying until it’s time to worry.

Not worrying until it’s time to worry.

Not worrying...

What a load of bullsh...crap.

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven