“Okay, sure, but what if I said you can still do Ivy League, but you might have to do it differently than you planned?” I glanced at her. “Night school, part-time classes. It’s doable. Sure, it’ll be harder if you don’t live on campus, but you can do it. And to be clear, your goal is the Harvard degree, yes? It’s not to live in a dorm room on a Harvard campus? Those are very different things.”

“Ugh.”

“What?”

“I hate it when you do that,” I said.

“Do what?”

“Be smart. You’re a jerk.”

“I know, right!” Mom feigned a bright smile right before she put on her blinker so she could pull into McDonald’s. “I’m so smart, I’m getting someone I know and their little monster-bean cheeseburgers because cravings are the devil.”

I sat up in my seat, an eager beaver already longing for tomato and salt between two plasticky buns. “Wow. I love you so much right now.”

She reached out to pat my knee, giving it an affectionate squeeze as she pulled up to the menu. “I know, kid. Love you, too.”

Mustering the courage to tell my immediate circle that I was 100 percent on the keep-the-baby train took me a couple weeks. Mom suspected as much at the appointment, but she never pushed me for confirmation afterward, which I appreciated. Mormor, by contrast, was a nudge. It was never direct, more in a roundabout way, talking about things like shopping for cribs and strollers and baby clothes, but I never rose to the bait, instead changing the subject or finding a convenient way to leave the room. She’d gnash her teeth about it awhile, but then leave it alone for a day or two.

I’m pretty sure my mother threatened her with death if she needled me, thus Mormor’s atypical restraint.

Devi should have been the easiest one to talk to. She was like Mom, never pushing, but I still couldn’t go through with it. It’d be real then—really real. No take backsies. I wasn’t ready to have the conversations that’d inevitably follow the announcement:

“What color of a nursery do you want?”

“Are you hoping for a boy or girl?”

“Have you picked out names?”

I wasn’t there. Instead, when Devi came over and sprawled out on my bed, we’d talk about Cap and Bucky and their super queer lovefest or Korean skincare or the next Doctor Who or...whatever dorky thing we were into at the moment. I promised myself I’d segue into it, but I never quite made it there.

It wasn’t until the night before the first day of school, when Mormor was officially out of patience and clobbered me, emotionally, that I found the courage to speak up, and only because she finally managed to piss me off.