“Oh, hey. No-go on hangouts tonight,” Morgan said, abruptly changing the subject. “Tomorrow instead, maybe? If you two can give up the sacred date night?”

I tucked into my food, moaning quietly to let Leaf know I appreciated the sarma. It was my favorite of the dishes he brought, and knowing that, Mr. Leon had taken to making it once a week. Sweetness ran in the Leon family.

“Sure. I’ll let Devi know,” I said.

“Cool.”

The rest of lunch was spent with Leaf, Erin and Morgan all comparing college notes and me watching with muted horror as my child moved around in my gut, causing weird angles to appear where there ought not to be weird angles. The college talk didn’t bother me at the time, but when I got home to an empty house, with Mom at work and Mormor nowhere to be found, it started to eat at me, particularly as I knew Devi was going to chime in about her acceptance results, too. I was the only one not going to school and I worried, honestly, that I’d be left behind. I knew I’d go back to school one day, when I had a clearer picture of how life would be as a mom, but what if the friends who were so dear to me moved on without me? College was a big change. It was exciting. It was new.

...I’d be at home with my kid. Not changing. Not being exciting.

It weighed on me.

It weighed on me right up until Leaf showed up on my doorstep unannounced, holding a mixed bouquet of flowers.

He didn’t have his own car and his father would still be sleeping for work, so I wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there. I opened the door and looked past him. Morgan’s car idled in the driveway, an old cotton-candy-blue Volkswagen that had seen better days. Erin and Morgan were in the front seat, waving at me, both bundled up in winter coats and gloves. Leaf donned a woolen peacoat with a red-knitted scarf doubled around his neck.

I tipped my head back for a kiss. He complied, pressing the bundle of ribbon-wrapped stems into my hand.

“Come out with us,” he said in greeting.

“I have to text my mom and ask.” I paused to sniff the flowers, smiling at the sweet smell. “And put these in water. Come in. I thought Morgan and Erin had plans tonight?”

“They lied.” He grinned.

“Oh.”

Leaf followed me inside, kicking the slush off his boots. We hadn’t had much accumulation of the white stuff yet, but there’d been a few flurries over the week that meant our shoes were always wet and the world was painted gray. Gray skies. Gray crusty buildups of snow along the sides of the road. Gray water.

Deep winter in New England could be pretty depressing.