“You’re welcome, peaches. It sounds like she’s going to be there, at least. So that’s good.” Mom stroked her fingers down my cheek and tucked them under my chin. “I’m sorry you’re so upset. Is there something I can do that doesn’t involve murder? Mommy doesn’t want to go to jail yet. Mommy has living left to do, and a grandkid on the way.”

“No, probably not. It’s just that I don’t want a strange dude looking at me when I...you know.” The confession made me embarrassed. Dr. Cardiff had been looking up the rude end of me a lot, and yet I still had hesitation when it came to dude doctors, apparently? “It’s ridiculous.”

“Nah, it’s not. I still prefer doctors who have my junk and understand my junk to the alternative, but I’m going to tell you a secret, and you won’t believe me, but I swear it’s true.”

“Yeah?”

“You aren’t going to care. Like, you think you will. Remember when you were freaked about the poop thing?”

“But I am still freaked about the poop thing,” I said.

“Well, okay then. I thought we were past that. Oops. But I promise you, you are going to be so busy with getting that kid out of you, you won’t care who sees what. Seriously. No birth is clean or polite. None. And your body is contorting in weird ways and it’s freakish and weird and it hurts and your focus will one hundred percent be on getting through it as efficiently as possible. There were six masked strangers in the room when I had you. Your grandmother held one hand, your dad held the other hand and this army of medical people in a really ugly teal stood there, staring at my parts, and I didn’t care. Even a bit. And then you came out, and you were slimy and wriggly and gross and I loved you immediately.” Mom paused. “It’s consuming, Sara. Totally consuming. The things you think you’ll care about, you don’t care about. It’s secondary to the baby. All you’re going to know is that you need help and there are people there who are helping you. That will supersede everything, I promise.”

“Look at you, with the fifty-cent word,” I said.

“I know, right? It’s like your mom isn’t nearly as ignorant as she looks!”

We shared a smile, and then we shared a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. It was a pretty awesome ending to a pretty lukewarm afternoon.